Impact Wrestling Report, 8/31/23

Aug 31, 2023 - by Scott Porter

Join us tonight for results from the latest episode from Impact Wrestling.  Tom Hannifan and Mathew Rewholdt are once again on the call.

  • Sanada, Jake Something & Frankie Kazarian  VS Eddie Edwards, Moose, & Brian Myers
  • #1 Contender’s Knockouts Battle Royal…Gisele Shaw VS Savannah Evans VS KiLynn King VS Jody Threat VS Alisha Edwards VS  Jessika VS Courtney Rush VS Killer Kelly VS Masha Slamovich (possibly more)
  • Eric Young VS Kon
  • Crazzy Steve VS Speedball Mike Bailey

The show starts with a recap from the Emergence PPV this past Sunday.

Match 1.  #1 Contender’s Knockouts Battle Royal (Gisele Shaw VS Savannah Evans VS KiLynn King VS Jody Threat VS Alisha Edwards VS  Jessika VS Courtney Rush VS Killer Kelly VS Masha Slamovich (possibly more)

Vanna Black has also joined the match.  Everyone seems to have a partner in the match to look out for them.  Black tried to befriend Edwards for her part.  Masha tosses her first.  That apparently didn’t help.  King teamed with Jody Threat over the weekend, but she doesn’t trust her.  Savanah tosses Killer Kelly and Shaw tosses Masha.  Courtney attempts to toss Shaw, but they both are eliminated.  King and Evans work on Jessika.  Threat save her.  Jessika is eliminated by King.  Evans is punted by Threat out of the ring.  Threat and King are left and they tear into each other.  The winner will challenge Trinity.  King plants Threat with a neutralizer.  Threat avoids Kings curse and punts King.  Alisha was hiding under the ring and never eliminated.  She runs in and dumps King and Threat.

Winner.  Alisha Edwards

Josh Alexander confronts the Motor City Machine Guns and apologizes for his failure.  He admits he wants the World Title.  The Champion, Alex Shelley cuts him off and basically tells Josh off.  The Rascalz walk up, making fun of the Guns, gloating of their tag team championship win over the weekend.

Alisha and Eddie Edwards celebrate backstage over her becoming the #1 contender.

Match 2.  Crazzy Steve VS Speedball Mike Bailey

Steve has a new presentation to his character.  It is even more sinister.  Tom Hannifan is acting scared after the interviews with Steve the last few weeks.  Steve goes straight for the eyes of Bailey.  He is disqualified.

Winner by DQ.  Mike Bailey

Steve pulls out a fork and tries to carve Bailey’s eyes.  Black Taurus comes out to make the save.  Steve attacks his eyes too.  Security tries to break it up.  Steve is drooling everywhere and seems to be enjoying scaring everyone.

Moose, Brian Myers and Eddie Edwards cut a promo backstage about their match tonight.  Bully Ray walks up and dismisses Eddie from the room.  Moose cuts off Bully for walking out on them last weekend.  Myers then tells him off too.   They walk off.  Bully hears PCO yelling in the distance and runs off.

Will Ospreay is once again announced to be coming to Impact.

PCO finds Bully.   He is trapped and tries a new way to save himself.   Bully tells PCO he cares about him.  He calls him Carl.  He says the monster has to go away and Carl needs to come back.  PCO stares at him and Bully walks off to safer ground.

Match 3.  Kon (representing The Design) VS Eric Young

EY is taken down from the onset by the powerful, Kon.  Kon pounds on EY repeatedly for a few minutes.  He gloats to the crowd.   EY starts to mount a comeback, punching his way out of the corner, but Kon levels him and EY tumbles to the floor.  Back from break, Kon has EY in a rear nerve hold to the neck.  Kon releases the hold, but back elbows EY over and over, which make him collapse to the floor.  EY gets to his feet.  He connects with a few short clotheslines, that stumble Kon.  He then puts him up in the rack position.   He delivers a DVD and gets a two count.  Kon gets right back up and catches EY on the top rope.  EY bites Kon in the forehead.  He drops a top rope elbow for another two count.  Kon blocks a piledriver and backdrops EY and follows up with a sidewalk slam.  EY gets to his feet and lariats Kon to the floor and dives out on him.  EY then piledrives Kon on the floor.  Kon is able to get back in the ring before the 10 count.  EY piledrives Kon again and it is over.

Winner by pinfall, Eric Young

X Division Champion, Lio Rush cuts a backstage promo on Chris Sabin.  Kushida walks up and reminds Rush he is next in line.

Jordynne Grace is shown working out at a gym.  She is returning to Impact.

Deonna Purrazzo is interviewed by Gia Miller.  Purrazzo reaffirms her stance on wanting Trinity again, but then challenges Grace to a match when she returns.

Match 4.  World Tag Team Champion, Zachary Wentz (with partner, Trey Miguel) VS Chris Sabin (with World Champion, Alex Shelley)

Wentz tries to frustrate Sabin by stalling and bailing to the floor.  Sabin finally catches Wentz with hiptosses, arm drags and arm locks until Zack slips free.  Sabin whips him and stomps Wentz face, who dropped to avoid Sabin’s attack.  Wentz manages to take Sabin out, dumping him to the floor.  He dives on him.  After a break, Zack delivers a pk.  Sabin shakes it off and DDTs Wentz, after a forearm.  Wentz slips a cradle shock and superkicks him.  He gets a 2 off a half nelson slam.  Wentz knees Sabin, who then kicks Wentz.  They both are slow to recover.  Once there they trade kicks.  Sabin locks on the STF.  Miguel and Shelley start fighting on the floor.  Sabin dives on them to the floor.  Sabin missile dropkicks Wentz back in and cradle shocks Wentz and pins him.

Winner, Chris Sabin.  

Shelley was taken out on the floor, Trey runs in and lays in a few cheap shots before leaving.

The ABC cut a backstage promo declaring they will regain the tag belts from The Rascalz.  The Good Hands walk up and get in their face, but back up when ABC challenge them.

Subculture approach Santino Marella and want a tag them return match for tag belts.  Sami Callihan and Rich Swann walk up and want a shot too.  Santino decides they should fight each other for a match.  They leave and JOYA walk up and ask for a tag team title match.  Santino shrugs them off and says they will get their one day.

Digital Media Champion, Kenny King cuts a in ring promo with Sheldon Jean.  He brings up everyone he has beat recently, including Tommy Dreamer, who enters the arena and ring.  Dreamer explains that Johnny Swinger lost the match at Emergence 4 hours after his father in law died.   He tells King when he was drinking backstage on Sunday, ignoring the women’s main event, Swinger was driving home to his family, but he called and asked how their match was.  King says he doesn’t care.  He then calls Dreamer a tick and a fat waste of space on his show.  Dreamer calls him out for never being a main eventer, because all he cares about drinking and being a big shot.  Dreamer says if you want his spot, step up and take his spot.  Tommy talks about the losses, like Terry Funk.  He says it is time and he will do him a favor.  He challenges King to a title VS career match.  The segment ends.

We get a hype segment for the legends night.  Awesome Kong and Gail Kim will appear.  Kim invites all the former Knockouts to come to the event.  This will happen on Impact’s 1000th episode.

Steve Maclin has a vignette.  He wants Josh Alexander.  He challenges him.  

Match 5. IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Sanada, Jake Something & Frankie Kazarian  VS Eddie Edwards, Moose, & Brian Myers

EVIL still has the IWGP belt in his possession.  Sanada will have to get it back when he returns to Japan.  He works over Myers to start the match and delivers him to Jake.  Myers bails to the floor to regroup.  Jake dives on him and all his partners.  Back from break, Myers is now in control.  He has Sanada in trouble.  Moose interfered while we were away.

Sanada recovers and looks strong knocking out everyone in his path.  The crowd may not know Sanada well, but he is winning them over.  Eddie sneaks in a eye poke and blue thunder bomb.  Moose comes in pounds on the champion.  Moose slams him and tags in Myers.  Brian slams him and tags in Eddie.  Eddie slams him next and drops a knee to the face.  Eddie drags him back to their corner and Moose enters and lays in some chops.  He goes right back to Myers and he just stomps on Sanada repeatedly.  Myers locks on a rear face lock.  Moose tags in and tries to powerbomb him, but Sanada rannas him.  He tags in Frankie and Eddie tags in.  Kaz wants Eddie bad and slams and legdrops him.  He gets a two off an unprettier.  Eddie and Kaz bounce the ropes and crossbody each other.  They both tag out to Moose and Jake.  Jake powerbombs Moose, but misses a spear.  Moose powerbombs Jake.  Everyone enters to land highspots now.  Kaz and Eddie land hard on the floor.  Myers gets planted by a sidewalk slam and it is over.

Winner by pinfall, Sanada, Kaz and Jake Something


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