4/28/11 TNA Impact Recap (Queen Clouseau)

Apr 29, 2011 - by Jason Graening

A review of last week’s event airs which covers the Angle/Jarrett saga in which Kurt Angle reveals that he has a “mistress” that will deliver punishment to Karen Jarrett and Sting choosing RVD as his opponent at Sacrifice and wanting to get revenge on Mr. Anderson for attacking him at the end of last week’s broadcast.

Jeff Jarrett’s music then hits as the ring is full of females, which includes Knockouts and TNA staff members. Jeff and Karen Jarrett come down to the ring and Karen is holding an umbrella over her head to prevent another incident similar to the one that happened last week. Karen gets on the microphone and says she gathered them all in the ring to find out who Kurt Angle may have gotten as his mistress.

Karen talks down to one of the caterers and the seamstress as they are both dismissed from the ring. Karen then wonders the coincidence about Miss Tessmacher and Kurt Angle arriving at the building at the same time and Karen says she is watching her before she leaves the ring. Karen turns her attention to Sarita and Rosita and wonder if they are playing the American card since Angle is an American hero. Sarita says they want nothing to do with gringos, which includes Angle before they leave the ring.

Karen comes between Madison Rayne and Tara and says there is a coincidence with the two of them and Kurt Angle being former World Champions. Madison does say that Tara is a dirty slut and wouldn’t put it past her to lay down for Kurt Angle. Tara spits on Madison before leaving the ring and Madison tells Karen that she wouldn’t put it past Tara to try to sleep with Jeff Jarrett either before also leaving the ring.

Velvet Sky is the last one left and Karen says she just lost her best friend and wonders how she will spring to the top with Kurt Angle by her side. Velvet tries to slap Karen but Jeff stops her from doing it. Jarrett then gets in Velvet’s face as she slaps him across the face. Velvet and Karen then get into a cat fight as Angelina Love and Winter walk towards the ring. Angelina tosses Velvet to the ground as Winter tells SoCal Val to ring the bell to start this match.

Match 1: Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love
A referee comes down to the ring as Angelina continues to work over Velvet to get this match officially started. Velvet starts to get in some offense but it has little effect on Angelina as she takes Velvet down with a clothesline and continues to wear Velvet down by choking her in full view of the referee. Velvet is finally able to gain some momentum and knock Angelina down to the mat but Winter gets involved while the referee has his back turned and takes Velvet out. Angelina then connects with the Toxic Injection and puts Velvet in Winter’s submission head lock maneuver to knock her out and pick up the submission victory.

A monster truck is parked in the parking lot and Mr. Anderson comes out of it. Anderson talks about the sentimental value it has to him and says life is good for being an asshole, except the fact that he hasn’t been given a shot at the title.

Matt Morgan is storming around the backstage area and is looking for Scott Steiner. Morgan tells the camera that his sole focus is getting the TNA World Championship and nothing will stand in his way. Morgan says he plans to eliminate his problem with Steiner before it even starts.

Match 2: Anarquia vs. Chris Sabin
Christy Hemme is the ring announcer instead of Jeremy Borash I guess. Prior to the match, Anarquia says that they will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo next week on Impact and says the fans will salute their flag.

The match starts and Anarquia goes on the attack and quickly takes down Chris Sabin but Sabin comes back with a couple of forearms and connects with a springboard forearm but seems to have injured his knee in the process. Anarquia then rolls him up for the pin fall to pick up the victory. After the match, Hernandez picks up Sabin but Alex Shelley comes out and clears the ring of Mexican America by swinging his belt everywhere.

Scott Steiner is in the locker room and talks trash about Matt Morgan and says he jumped him because he wanted to jump him. Steiner tells Morgan that he isn’t a hard man to find and tells the camera man to tell Morgan where he is.

After a commercial break, Steiner is seen yelling at Morgan and taunting him to come after him. Morgan chases after him and Steiner attacks him from behind and beats Morgan down by hitting him with tables and chairs. Steiner then chokes Morgan with a broom as the censors are having a heyday bleeping out Steiner’s trash talk. Morgan then gets back at Steiner by sending him through a table and begins choking him out with a chair. Steiner apologizes but Morgan rams him into a refrigerator. Morgan tells him that nobody will stand in his way before leaving Steiner lying on the ground.

Sting is seen walking out in the parking lot and is around Anderson’s monster truck. Sting then takes out a baseball bat and begins smashing Anderson’s truck and taking out all of the windows. He then climbs on top of the hood and smashes out the windshield and leaves his bat there before walking away.

Match 3: Christopher Daniels vs. Gunner (TNA Television Championship)
Gunner is quick to attack Daniels to get this match started. Gunner tries to put Daniels on his shoulders but Daniels is able to counter is pick up a near fall. Daniels isn’t able to capitalize and Gunner quickly regains control of the match and wears Daniels down with a gut wrench and picks up a near fall after hitting a front face suplex. Daniels is able to find an opening and takes control of the match before slamming him down to the mat from off the top rope.

Daniels goes for the Angel’s Wings but Gunner is able to counter and hits Daniels with a series of shoulder blocks in the corner. Gunner then picks up Daniels on his shoulders again but Daniels is again able to counter and slams Gunner down to the mat. Daniels tries for the BME but Gunner rolls out of the way and Daniels lands on his feet. Gunner then hoists Daniels on his shoulders and drives him down to the mat to pick up the pin fall to retain his TV Championship.

Sting is seen walking in the backstage area and he will be up next as we head into a commercial break.

Sting’s music hits as he comes down to the ring as the announce team talks about how Mr. Anderson better have insurance on his truck. Sting says he is trying real hard to get rid of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff but Mr. Anderson is always there standing in his way. Sting calls out Anderson as he comes out with a baseball bat. Sting plays coy about smashing out Anderson’s windows before admitting to it.

Anderson says he will get them replaced because he is rich and says he won’t fall for his games. Anderson tells Sting that he will one up him every time and says that since Sting can choose his opponent, he offers to go up against Sting right now. Before Sting can answer, RVD’s music hits as he comes down to the ring.

RVD tells Sting he appreciates that he was given a chance to challenge for his title and tells Sting that he is a stand up guy. RVD says he is fine with Sting doing whatever he has to do to shut Anderson up to make sure that he is taken out of the equation. Sting agrees to the challenge but is cut off by Hulk Hogan’s music.

Hogan comes out with a lead pipe and says he loves how Sting is handing out title shots one after another. Hogan says if Sting wants a fight, he will get it and says the title match will be a three way as he also has the authority to choose his opponent, and the third man will be Bully Ray. Sting and Anderson have looks of concern on their face as Hogan says it is showtime.

Samoa Joe is backstage and says that Crimson has impressed him with how he has handled himself. Joe says what he did to Abyss was a thing of beauty and says Crimson has potential but says what he did with his undefeated streak will never be duplicated and Crimson will find out that when he faces Joe in the ring, he will always lose.

Match 4: Crimson vs. Samoa Joe
The bell rings and the two trade blows with each other and Crimson is able to take Joe off his feet with a big boot. Joe fights back and takes Crimson down with a kick before connecting with a couple of more kicks in the corner and picking up a near fall. The two again trade blows as Crimson takes Joe down with a suplex and picks up near fall after hitting a swinging neckbreaker.

The two continue to go back and forth as the match spills out to the floor as Abyss comes down the ramp. Abyss attacks Crimson as the referee calls for the bell and Joe walks away. Abyss then sends Abyss into the ring post and steel steps before rolling him into the ring. Abyss then drives Crimson down to the mat with a Black Hole Slam and stands over Crimson and stares at him.

Mr. Anderson is in the locker room and talks about how he is once again not getting a legit title shot as it has been turned into a three way match. Anderson says he isn’t going to complain about it and make lemonade out of lemons before telling the camera man to leave.

Mickie James is seen walking in the backstage area as the announce team says that she is on her way to the ring.

Kurt Angle is backstage and says that Karen Jarrett is making an ass out of herself and she is way off. Angle says Karen will eventually meet this girl and she may even meet her next week. Angle says nobody knows this girl but Karen will crap her pants when she does.

Mickie James comes out to the ring with the TNA Knockouts Championship over her shoulder. Mickie says that she always has wanted to become the greatest women wrestler of all time and dedicates her championship to all of the fans. She then thanks all of the fans for believing in her before wrapping up her victory speech.

Bully Ray is seen talking to Abyss and tells him that Ray as the champion would piss the wrestling world off. Ray says he would trade in all 23 tag team championships for one chance at being the World Champion. He says he will get his chance to represent TNA and says he likes the sound of him being the champion.

Match 5: Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray vs. Sting (TNA World Championship)
Jeremy Borash handles the formal introductions for this World Championship main event. The bell rings and Sting goes right after Anderson as Bully Ray hangs out in the corner. Ray waits for an opening and goes after Sting and sends the champion into the turnbuckle a few times. Ray continues to wear down Sting and picks up a near fall after hitting a side slam but Anderson breaks it up.

Anderson begins to focus on Sting but Ray pulls him off as the two begin to exchange blows in the middle of the ring. Sting gets in the middle of the two and sends Anderson out to the floor before picking up a near fall on Ray. Anderson then nails Sting from behind and Ray takes Sting down with a big boot. Ray then turns his attention to Anderson and takes him down as we head to a commercial break.

We return to the match to see Ray pick up a two count on Anderson after hitting a suplex. Ray continues wearing down Anderson as Sting is laid out in the corner of the ring. Anderson begins to fight back as he and Ray trade blows but Ray takes Anderson down with an elbow to the head. Anderson is able to counter Ray’s attack and nearly picks up a pin fall over Ray after hitting a neckbreaker.

Sting finally gets back into the match and takes Anderson down with a series of clotheslines before hitting a Stinger Splash. Sting tries to nail Ray with a splash as well, but Ray ducks out of the way and pulls referee Earl Hebner in the way. With the referee out, Ray nails Sting with a clothesline before grabbing a lead pipe and nailing Sting in the midsection.

AJ Styles then comes into the ring and nails Ray with a kick to the back of the head and Sting gets to his feet and nails Ray in the head with the pipe. Earl Hebner is still laid out as Sting makes the cover and referee Brian Hebner comes out to make the three count as Sting retains his TNA World Championship. We then see Mr. Anderson on the floor and has the pipe in his hands as we head to a commercial break.

Bully Ray is backstage and says he should be champion if it wasn’t for AJ Styles. Ray says Styles had no business being in the ring and he will take it out on Styles for costing him a World Championship. Ray says Styles got his payback at Lockdown and promises that bad things will be coming for AJ Styles and warns him to sleep with one eye open. AJ Styles is with Fortune and says Bully Ray will pay for what he did and says he will do what he has to do for his kids and to put food on the table.

Scott Steiner is in the parking lot and calls out Matt Morgan and says his ass will be his next week on Impact. Jeff and Karen are talking with each other and Jeff says things have gone too far. We cut to Velvet Sky who says she is not Kurt Angle’s mistress and says she needs time to gather her thoughts about Angelina Love. We head back to the Jarrett’s where Jeff wants Karen to think about someone from her past that would show up next week. Jeff says he thinks everything is a bunch of crap as Impact comes to a close.

Quick Results
– Angelina Love defeated Velvet Sky by submission.
– Anarquia defeated Chris Sabin by pin fall.
– Gunner defeated Christopher Daniels by pin fall to retain the TNA Television Championship.
– Crimson and Samoa Joe fought to a no contest.
– Sting defeated Bully Ray and Mr. Anderson by pin fall to retain the TNA World Championship.

Starman’s Thoughts
Like many other Impact broadcasts of late, this show had some good aspects and a lot of bad ones to go along with it. For starters, did the opening segment with Karen Jarrett trying to figure out the identity of Kurt Angle’s mistress accomplish anything? Looking at the “suspects” in the ring, it was apparent that none of them would fit the bill. I hate to say it, but I’d rather have seen another drawn out segment with Immortal in the ring to set up the show than what was aired. As for the mistress, it seems to me that all signs are pointing to Isis the Amazon (NXT’s Aloisa).

It was strange to me that RVD would call Sting a stand up guy, not just for what went down in their past, but for what Sting did to Mr. Anderson’s monster truck. I guess this was Sting’s way of getting revenge on Anderson, but it didn’t do much for me. Stuff like this happens all of the time in wrestling but this had little effect, mostly because this was the first time we have seen Anderson drive his truck to Impact. When Edge recently smashed Alberto Del Rio’s car at WrestleMania, it made sense since Del Rio’s character is that of a rich aristocrat that has dozens of high priced cars at his disposal that he likes to flaunt each and every week. This worked. Anderson’s monster truck being demolished didn’t, not to mention it didn’t fit with Sting’s character.

While I’m on the topic of Sting and Mr. Anderson, I will give TNA credit for an entertaining main event. Last week I wrote about how Bully Ray is starting to win me over and this week he continued to do so. Even though he was pinned, Ray looked strong in this match and got in a lot of offense. What I hated about the main event, though, was how quickly they went to a commercial break after it was over while making it appear that Anderson was going to do something with the lead pipe. As much as I usually enjoy the ending interviews, I really wanted to see if Anderson was going to do something after the match, but Anderson was never shown again.

Also, was it just me or was Bully Ray channeling Stan Hansen throughout the main event tonight?

Did my eyes deceive me or was the TNA Television Championship actually defended on television this week? I was impressed with the fact that this match was decent and made Gunner look good by picking up a clean victory over the likes of Christopher Daniels. The one aspect that I didn’t enjoy was the fact that Gunner picked up a clean victory over Christopher Daniels. Gunner needed a quality victory, which he got, but I wish TNA would have put him up against a different opponent instead of Daniels. I guess it doesn’t matter, though, as it seems that Daniels has lost all of the momentum he had when he first came back to TNA.

It looks like Samoa Joe is moving on to other things. Lets just hope that we have seen the end of the dreadful Samoa Joe/D’Angelo Dinero feud.

It looks like Chris Sabin was injured during tonight’s show and the slow motion instant replay didn’t look too good. This is unfortunate timing for Sabin as Alex Shelley made his return to TNA tonight after suffering an injury of his own. I hope Sabin isn’t injured too seriously as is able to make a fast recovery.

Christy Hemme seems to have taken over the regular ring announcing duties from Jeremy Borash. Hemme seemed to be a little rough around the edges, but I think she will get better with time if she continues to do the introductions. Borash now seems to be handling the main event introductions, which is a shame since I feel he could be used in better ways.

Overall, a lot more bad than good on this week’s show, however, the bad wasn’t all absolutely horrible and there were a few things set up to build off from.

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