Steve Austin Tells a Story About Trying Medical Marijuana
On Cutting Alcohol From His Diet: “My eating program is going fantastic. [I’m] sticking to my exact macros. [I’ve had] zero alcohol for right at 14 days now. Pounds are coming off. My strength is going up. Jesus Christ, I’m getting as strong as a goddamn horse over here. No alcohol and when you hit the weights on a consistent basis and eat what you’re supposed to, it is amazing the difference that you can make or I’m making.” Austin continued, “I’m also doing my DDP Yoga s–t. Hell, I’m going to jump up here and do the splits like a goddang cheerleader in a minute! I’m flexible as a motherf–ker. Dallas’ program works like a b—h. I appreciate it, Dallas. I appreciate it, man. That’s a badass program. I’m sticking to it!”
His Story About Trying Medical Marijuana: “Man, one time we [were] driving through [the Sierra Blanca check station] and I had a person, this was back before they were selling [cannabis] to anybody in California, but you could get it for medicinal reasons and I figured, I said, ‘man, what if I tried something’ because I’ve been in the [pro] wrestling business for, s–t, damn near my whole life. I’ve been retired, but I still consider myself part of the business, so I figured, ‘do you know what? Instead of drinking, what if I had a joint to smoke?’ The times I had tried to smoke dope way back in the day, I didn’t like it because dope just always made me feel kind of dumb and when I’d said something, I’d think, ‘does that sound stupid or not?’ and it just brought me down, so dope never was my thing. I was an alcohol guy. I liked whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer. I could go on and on. You know I can go on and on and on.” Austin explained, “I was the damn drinking guy, so when I tried to smoke dope, I didn’t like it, but I figured, ‘okay, let me try to back off some of the alcohol.
On our camping trip, when Kristin and I pulled over, we do our thing. She sets up the inside of the camper. I hook up the electricity, the sewer, the water. I do all the outdoor stuff, so I figure, ‘while I’m setting all of my s–t up, I can take a couple of tokes off of this joint and just kind of have a buzz while I’m setting everything up.’ And in that way, I’m not pounding the alcohol down. So I got this one f–king medicinal marijuana cigarette, a joint if you will, in a prescription bottle container and it was in the bathroom of our RV. One f–king joint! One skinny f–king joint and that motherf–ker smelled up the whole goddamn inside of that camper! And all-of-a-sudden, we’re coming up on Sierra Blanca and I’m figuring, ‘aw, s–t! They’re running those Belgian Malinois over there. Yeah, and those dogs are smelling tires, and trunks, and license plates, and all kinds of stuff. And I’m sitting there thinking, ‘boy, I’ve got that white-knuckle fever going on my damn steering wheel.’ And I’m thinking, ‘man, here I am, retired from the [pro] wrestling business, a global icon and a national treasure, and I’m about to get busted for f–king one joint because I wanted to try out a goddamn marijuana cigarette, so I could get away from the booze!’
“We go through there, the dude looks at me and I look at him. We’ve been passing through there for 10, 15 years. I’ve been passing through my whole damn life and they knew who we are and we always say ‘hi’ to them. But anyway, on this occasion, since I’m carrying… If you put a joint on a scale, this isn’t one of [those] Freebird joints that Michael Hayes was famous for rolling way back in the day that weighed about a pound. This was a f–king medical joint, smaller than a pencil. It probably weighed about two grams. I’m figuring, ‘oh s–t, man. We’re going to get… what would that be? That would be a misdemeanor, but it’d be on my f–king record and the last thing I want to do after all the bulls–t I survived in the business of pro wrestling, was to get busted for goddamn possession of a f–king controlled substance. They waved us through. And as they waved us through, I breathed a sigh of relief.” Austin recalled, “my biggest fears were behind me.
We ended up, I think, in Van Horn, Texas that night. We only went a few more miles, about 100 more miles, and we set up the camper, and I was out there taking my three hits off my little pile of s–t joint. And I got a little buzz and I figured, ‘do you know what?’ I knocked on the camper and Kristin stuck her head out. She goes, ‘what?’ I said, ‘can you make me a f–king martini? This joint ain’t worth a s–t!’ So that was my foray into the marijuana world! It ain’t my cup of tea, but we were s–tting bricks. That was the smelliest joint I ever smelled in my life. If smoking dope is your thing, hey, more power to you. It really isn’t my cup of tea. I’d rather have a margarita, vodka, bloody mary, whatever!” Austin exclaimed, “anything but a goddamn joint!”