Thanksgiving TNA Impact Wrestling Report – 11/24/16

CREDIT:  Kyle Decker (@kfd2010) from CageSide Seats

Jeff Hardy opening promo: 

Jeff Hardy opens the show.  He first talks about what he’s thankful for (family, fans) but not the three goofs that call themselves the DCC.  He says that his brother has always been by his side and now he’s going to try to jog his brother’s memory.  Jeff then calls out any member of the DCC.

A DCC video plays and one of the members says that one of them will face him in a no DQ match later tonight but the fight for his survival begins now.

All three members come to the ring.  Storm gets a Twist of Fate and then he fights the off the other two.

Meanwhile, at the Hardy estate.  He is outside with Señor Benjamin who is reading a Playboy.  Vanguard One is on a table drinking a lemonade from a straw.  Matt says tonight they will have a Matt Hardy Ice Cream Social for Thanksgiving.

After Matt leaves, VG1 tells Señor Benjamin that he’s a big trouble when Matt remembers… if he remembers.

Andrew Everett, Trevor Lee, and Marche Rocket vs. Rockstar Spud, Abyss, & Crazzy Steve vs. DJ Z, Braxton Sutter, & Mandrews in an elimination match.

All three members of the winning team will get an X Division title shot.

Mandrews is the first to show off against Everett and Steve.  Lot of quick tags early on, everyone working over Spud.  Spud has to crawl to the corner and tag in Abyss.  Spud starts ordering Abyss around so Abyss slams him as well before clearing house.

Abyss finds himself outside with Mandrews and he uses a chair on the Brit, getting himself DQ’d.

Abyss is disqualified

Steve gets in quickly and submits Mandrews.

Steve bites, Sutter, who is try to work alongside him against Rocket.  Steve locks in the submission but Everett, like an idiot, breaks it up with a moonsault.  He then pins Steve.

Everett pins Steve.

DJ Z hits the ZDT on Everett and pins him.

Sutter pins Trevor Lee after hitting a Flat Liner.

Spud is eventually face to face with Rocket, jawing with him.  He thinks that he has a partner left but realizes he doesn’t and Marche hits a big slam to eliminate Spud.

Rocket eliminates Spud

It’s just Rocket and DJ Z and Sutter left.  Sutter hits the Flatliner and Team Go For Broke wins.

DJ Z, Sutter, and Mandrews win

They play an “Earlier today” video.  Allie is playing with a paper Thanksgiving figures when Maria and Laurel Van Ness come and mock her.  Maria lets Allie know that LVN and Maria are going to be on a double date and she will be serving them.

Back in Cameron, Benjamin is still ordering Matt Hardy around.  He says that the meal he’s making will make someone like Robert Irvine obsolete… he pauses and thinks for a moment.  That’s when a car pulls up – it’s his guest, the referee who officiated the Final Deletion.

The referee says that they’ve been friends for awhile and Reby sent him.

Maria’s Thanksgiving Dinner

In the ring, Maria, the Miracle, and Laurel Van Ness are in the ring.  There’s a table set up with dinner on it.  She then makes Allie come to the ring dressed like a pilgrim.  LVN then reveals she invited Braxton, who makes his way to the ring.

Maria orders Allie not to look at him.  Maria talks about what she’s thankful for: The Miracle, Laurel, and the fact that she’s the First Lady of Professional Wrestling.  Then the Miracle goes… though he’s interrupted by an “Allie” chant. He’s thankful for food, the great Tom Brady, and of course his wife.  LVN is thankful for Maria, her date Braxton, and her father’s black AmEx.

Allie interjects and says she’s thankful for all of the fans but she is interrupted by Maria who tells her no one cares.  LVN asks Braxton what he wants to do later but she doesn’t let him.  She tells him back in high school, she was called Laurel Van Yes.

Allie snaps, calling LVN a “meanie” and saying she couldn’t even cook anything vegan for her to eat here.  She goes to pie LVN but Van Ness ducks and it lands on Maria.  Maria is furious.

Back in Carolina, the referee shows him videos of him beating EC3 for the title at Bound for Glory. But it’s not working. He then shows Matt the second time he beat Carter.  Hardy is surprised because Carter is good but found it cool that he treated EC3 like his b***h.

Matt is freaked to see him with a ladder because he’s afraid of heights. He doesn’t recognize Tyrus or Rockstar Spud. Matt finds it all repulsive.  Reby looks from outside but the referee gives her a solemn shake of the head no.

Eli Drake vs. EC3

Voice vs. Title Opportunity

Both men have spurts of control early on.  Drake hits a back elbow and a powerslam and then goes to work in the corner.  EC3 runs out of the corner with a drop kick and then clotheslines Drake over the top rope as Impact goes to the commercial.

When they returned, Carter is working over Drake on the outside.  Eli gets tosed into the ring steps.  Carter tosses Drake in the ring but when he follows him in, he ends up getting his neck pulled down on the rope.  Drake follows up with a suplex on the ring apron.

Continuing the fight outside, Drake hits a back suplex to Carter on the ring steps and then makes his way back into the ring.  EC3 makes his way into the ring but now rake is in full control.

Carter finally neutralizes things with a leg sweep of Drake into the corner. EC3 goes to the top rope but Drakes flies up to meet him and tosses him off the top for a nearfall. He then grabs a mic and starts riffing as he kicks Carter. He he’s saying that his taking the insult isn’t a prediction but… EC3 hits him with a TK3 and both men are down!

When they get to their feet, it’s not Carter unleashing the offensive.  He goes for the One percenter but Drake pushes him off… gets him into a Torture Rack Slam. 2 count!

He goes for Blunt Force Trauma but Carter reverses into a sleeper which Drake quickly fights out of.  Carter goes back to the top rope.  Drake goes to meet him but he’s shoved off. Frog Splash from EC3!  Another near fall!

Carter misses the splash and Drake hits a neck break! Front slam! 2 count!

Carter knocks down Drake and once again both men are slow to get up.  They get to their feet and exchange blows in the middle of the ring. Carter hits a big boot and gets him up in a firemans… but Eli Drake kicks out and hits Blunt Force Trauma.  That only gets a 2 count!

Drake goes for the One Percenter but Carter fights out.  He goes for it and Drake fights it off! EC3 finally hits it… and Drake kicks out!!

Carter goes for his submission but Drake counters in a neck braker. He goes for Blunt Force Trauma but Carter knocks in his submission.  Eli Drake is forced to tap!

Carter submits Drake

RIP Drakes voice

Back with Matt Hardy.  Reby introduces him to Dr. Maximillion who is a hypnotist.  He hypnotizes Matt and Matt starts rattling off things about his Broken Brilliance!  He’s remembering!  He’s going to save the world!  But when Max snaps his fingers, it didn’t stick and Matt runs to his gelato.

The Tribunal vs. Al Snow and Mahabali Shera

Al Snow controls Baraka early.

Snow and Shera begin controlling Basile Baraka.  Dax gets in but he gets double teamed as well.  Then Shera dominates both members of the Tribunal at the same time.  Then Al Snow does.

The Tribunal have had zero offense in this match so far.

Baron Dax kicks out of a Sky High, Basile Baraka tosses Snow from the apron, and finally the Tribunal are in control of Shera.  Shera tags in Snow.  He hits a Snow Plow but Dax breaks up the pin.  This match is going to continue happening.

Baraka lands a low blow on Snow when the ref is out of position and then hits Shera with his belt, which the ref sees. It ends in DQ.

Snow and Shera def. the Tribunal via DQ

Post match The Tribunal whip Snow and Shera with their belts.

Backstage, we see Grado and Robbie E asking Aiden O’Shea for a match.  It’s the Turkey Suit match.

Robbie E vs. Grado

Turkey suit challenge. Aiden O’Shea is ringside as the special enforcer.

Early on in the match, both men pinch the others nipples as offense.  So you have an idea of what to expect here.  Then there’s a double clothesline.

Robbie goes for a pin with his legs on the ropes but O’Shea knocks his legs off.  Then Grado does the same to the same result.  Grado goes for a sunset flip but Robbie falls to his knees to cover Grado for a 1-2-3.

Robbie def. Grado

Grado is refusing to put it on at first but finally acquiesces. he’s less than pleased.  Finally Grado dances wearing the suit.

Backstage, Rosemary cuts a promo inside a cage.  She describes Decay as nature’s cockroach in this promo focused on Jade.  Next week, they will end Jade’s career. (Next week is a Jade/Rosemary cage match for the vacant Knockouts’ title.)

Bram vs. Jeff Hardy in a no DQ match

The rest of the DCC is ringside.

Early on, Hardy has control on Bram as the other members of the DCC watch on.

TNA goes to commercial and when it comes back it’s pretty much a 3 on 1 beat down.  This continues for a bit.  OK, more than a bit.  This is the entire match.

Jeff fights back, but he’s leveled by Storm.  He finally delivers a Whisper in the Wind to Storm.  Bram tosses a chair at Jeff but Jeff catches it and tosses it right back.  He then uses the chair to leap off of for a poetry in motion.  He hits a Twist of Fate for a near fall.

Jeff then hits another Twist of Fate.  He goes up top for the Swanton but Storm knocks him down.  He gets the Last Call and the Brighter Side of suffering to mercifully end this match.

Bram def. Jeff Hardy

Back at Matt’s place, Reby tells him she’s frustrated.  Matt is frustrated himself.  He just wants to be a cook right now. He walks out of the house, ranting about how he doesn’t want to be that person.  He shouts if he’s truly Broken, may the Seven Deities send him a sign.

Then he’s struck by lightening!  When Reby asks how he is, he says “I am Broken!”  That did he!  He’s back!

That’s the show, folks. Have a happy rest of your Thanksgiving!