4/10 WWE NXT Recap
April 10, 2014
LIVE! From Full Sail University
by Emerson “RIP Warrior” Witner
Any questions, comments concerns or emotional outbursts? Contact me:
Here’s what you need to know about NXT:
-The NXT Champion is Adrian Neville, who became champion during NXT Arrival on February 27, winning a Ladder Match against Bo Dallas, who had been champion for 260 days
-They also have Tag Team Champions, Konnor and Viktor, better known as The Ascension. They won the belts on October 3, defeating Adrian Neville and Corey Graves
-Paige is the first, and so far only, Woman’s Champion. She captured the belt on July 25 defeating Emma in the finals of a grueling tournament, which was not held in Rio De Janero.
-John “Bradshaw” Layfield is the Interim General Manager of the show, replacing Dusty Rhodes who Triple H fired in a power trip.
-The announce team is constantly rotating with some combination of Byron Saxton, William Regal, Brad Maddox, Alex Riley, Jason Albert (formerly Tensai), Renee Young and Tom Phillips
And that’s everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)
-Before we start, here is my weekly plug to check out both my Epic Tweets in Wrestling History over at WrestleCrap.com, as well as my horrible movie blog as my friend Lauren and I spent the entire month of March reviewing total crap at BadMovieMonth.tumblr.com
-I want to start by giving a shout out to everyone from both the Empire and the WrestleCrap message board that I met during the weekend. There are too many to list and I know I’ll forget someone. I’ll see you all in Santa Clara.
The show starts with a graphic dedicating the show to the memory of Warrior.
So…do you think Paige will defend the Diva’s Title more frequently than she defends the NXT Woman’s Title?
1.) Adam Rose pinned Danny Birch
One of the newest WWE Superstars (and future main eventer of WWE Superstars) is here on NXT. Adam Rose, going one on one this week with Danny Birch, who had one guy chanting his name, while the fans sang Adam’s theme, which like the Real American’s theme and Fandango’s theme, is purely instrumental.
My weekly complaint about Adam stands true, as we are not supposed to realize he is Leo Kruger sans beard, but yet he has the same exact move set, but he at least changed his finisher, now using a middle rope elbow ala Bret Hart instead of The Slice.
Rich Brennan, whoever the hell that is, is a new announcer.
-Backstage Devin Taylor is standing with referee Shawn Bennett, who is the man who called the ref stoppage last week. His entire promo was he stopped the match.
Corey Graves said he beat Sami Zayn, without a shadow of a doubt, much like how Barry Bonds is the home run king. Gasp! What a heel!
2.) Bayley pinned Sasha Banks (w/Charlotte and Summer Rae’s Head On A Stick)
The Doctor of Huganomics is here to face one of Triple H’s women. She made HHH’s WrestleMania entrance much more pleasant on the eyes.
Sasha almost wins in 4 seconds with a double legged take down. Well that was the beginning of the end of Undertaker’s streak.
The fans were so entertained by this match that they sang Adam Rose’s theme and chanted s-a-w-f-t SAWFT!
Charlotte looked constipated at ringside as Bayley made her comeback. They reversed a few “What the hell was that”’s, but Bayley picked up the win with the Belly to Bayley Suplex.
3.) Mojo Rawley pinned Sylvester Lefort
The French Legionnaire is here, in his first match since getting squashed by Mason Ryan and is here to get squashed by the incredibly huge (when he’s not slouching) Mojo Rawley.
How are we supposed to believe that the Irish Whip into the turnbuckles hurts when so many people now throw themselves into the turnbuckles to gain momentum? Anyway, Mojo wins with the Earthquake Splash quicker than it took me to type this.
-After the match, we are joined by the man who finished 28th in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, Brodus Clay, who laid out Lefort as the fans chanted “Better Than Batista”.
Mr. 28 took the mic and said he is pissed that HHH and Cena put over Adrian Neville and now Neville is going to get his ass kicked by the lower midcard player.
Adrian came out and said Brodus complains a lot and wastes his opportunities. Brodus and Adrian exchange some shitty insults before squaring off face to boob. Brodus, like a good little monster heel, turns and walks away.
-Devin Taylor is talking to Oliver Grey, who has been gone for over 13 months after being laid out by The Wyatt Family. Before he could say two words, in walked Camacho who reads off of a teleprompter about how much he hates Adam Rose.
Oliver wants to wrestle Camacho next week and Camacho ignored him.
-A video aired of NXT guys at WrestleMania Axxess, including Tyler Breeze taking a selfie of himself in a ball pit and Bo pinning Sami Zayn. #Boliever
-Devin Taylor is with Great Khali, of all people. He is feeling great and “so much good” when he suddenly hugged by Bayley. CJ Parker demanded that Khali recycle. This was just an amazing segment. Khali spoke more Great Khali-ese and Bayley translated by telling CJ that they would wrestle next week.
The longest reigning NXT Champion of the last 25 years is here! Bo Dallas has announced that he plans to Occupy NXT so he can get another title shot. Damn, why am I not in Orlando?
The fans chant Bo! Or at least a word that sounds like Bo as they turned their back on him. Bo has an emotional breakdown as the fans betray him after everything he has done for them.
Everybody betray me and now I just don’t care! Sorry, cued my inner Tommy Wiseau.
Bo drops to his knees and cries, which led to the fans chanting for Batista. That’s amazing.
Finally, out comes NXT General Manager JBL who signs Bo to a match with Justin Gabriel, of all people.
Justin Gabriel is a 3x WWE Tag Team Champion, which is a fact that is more and more amazing with each passing day. Although JTG is still employed and that triumphs everything.
Turns out this is the main event, which is quite the understatement. The match wasn’t much to write home about, as obviously Bo is getting ready to head off onto Raw and become the holder of the most prestigious of all the Intercontinental Championships. Nothing is impossible.
The match picked up at the finish. Gabriel hit a springboard cross body as the announcers talked about why the hell Justin would jump out of airplanes. Maybe I could convince Justin to go jumping out with me. Are you reading this, Justin? Of course you are. Just Tweet me @TheReallyRealEW and we can also discuss explaining to Jason Albert the difference between a Fisherman Suplex and a Northern Lights Suplex.
Anyhoo, Bo won with the Double Arm DDT.
As I tried coming up with a witty way to finish this report, I read that Eric Young, of all people, won the TNA World Title tonight and I also wrote the phrase “of all people” three different times in this review. Until next week, say your vitamins and take your prayers!