ROH #HonorCon: Arm Wrestling Tournament
Feb 23, 2014 - by Andrew Davis
We’re live at the Philadelphia National Guard Armory for Ring of Honor’s first ever Honorcon convention!
after a half hour or so for fans to get autographs & pictures, we turn our attention to the ring for the arm wrestling tournament. Our first contest is Michael Elgin taking on “The Romantic Touch”, a thin but ripped wrestler under a mask. The Touch kisses Elgin’s hand before they start, & Elgin shakes his head and immediately slams the guy’s hand down as soon as the contest starts.
Next up is Bobby Fish against Cheeseburger, who has Brutal Bob Evans by his side. Kyle O’Reilly helps Fish get ready, taping his hand up as Cheeseburger pumps some iron with a dumbbell. Fish is wearing his title belt as he sits down, but releases before they start because he didn’t think it feels right. He turns his baseball cap around backwards, yells at the fans to shut up, and locks hands with Cheeseburger. The fans start stomping and pounding on the guardrail as the two gladiators engage in their test of strength. Fish begins to power Cheeseburger down, but Cheeseburger valiantly battles back. He nearly has Fish’s hand down when O’Reilly spews a mouthful of water in Cheeseburger’s face & allows Fish to put him down. Fish kicks Cheeseburger out to the floor because this is his ring and his table, then warns everyone that they’re on notice.
Roderick Strong & Mark Briscoe are up next, and there are no shenanigans here as Strong handily defeats Mark Briscoe in mere seconds. A distraught Mark kicks the guardrail on his way out to vent his frustration over this bitter defeat.
The final first round contest is between Tommaso Ciampa and Michael Bennett, who is joined by the lovely and vivacious Maria Kanellis. Bennett takes his shirt off to try and intimidate Ciampa with his fearsome physique, but Ciampa is undaunted as Bennett sits down and exchanges in verbal outbursts. They finally set and lock hands, and the contest begins. Ciampa begins to gain the advantage, so Maria decides to try and run distraction by stroking Ciampa and ass dancing in front of him. Ciampa is still undaunted as he hammers Bennett’s hand to the table and advances to the second round of the tournament.
We’re now into the semifinals as Bobby Fish faces Michael Elgin, who matches Fish’s unnatural superpowers by turning his baseball cap around as well. They struggle mightily, but Fish pulls away right before Elgin puts him down & claims an arm injury. Being that his right arm is apparently no longer up to the rigors of such a competition, he switches up & goes left to avoid disappointing the fans. Fish slowly closes his fingers on Elgin’s hand & the competition restarts. Elgin doesn’t appear the slightest bit taxed as Fish struggles & struggles to overpower his mighty foe, & O’Reilly tries the same water trick that got Fish past the first round, but that only makes Elgin mad as he continues to hold strong against Fish’s onslaught. O’Reilly throws the rulebook out the window entirely and puts his hand over Fish’s for a sinister double team, but Elgin easily puts them both down to make a very dominant entry into the finals.
Elgin’s opponent will be determined by our next battle between Tommaso Ciampa & Roderick Strong, & both their faces actually turn bright red with the strain. Jimmy Jacobs tries dancing for Ciampa like Maria did, but the result is the same as Ciampa will not be stopped & puts Strong down to advance to the finals.
Cary Silkin gets into the ring & shows off the $2,500 check and fancy golden trophy to be awarded to the winner of the tournament final between Tommaso Ciampa & Michael Elgin. Ciampa, takes a moment to rest and stretch his arm before locking up with Elgin for the battle of the Irresistible Force and the Immovable Object. Elgin starts to gain an advantage, but Ciampa battles back to the neutral position and holds fast. Ciampa begins to move Elgin back, but Elgin recovers & pushes Ciampa’s arm to near defeat. Ciampa fights valiantly as he struggles to stay alive, but Elgin finally slams the arm down & claims victory as the ROH Arm Wrestling Champion for 2014.
That was a very impressive win, though Ciampa was already weakened since he had just come off a tough semifinal win over Strong. Hopefully this will build to a rematch at Final Battle, because this had Arm Wrestling Match Of The Year written all over it. With this win, Elgin now qualifies for a berth in this year’s Jesse “The Body” Ventura Strongest Arm Competition, joining previous champions Van Hammer (1992) & Big Van Vader (1993). Other participants will be announced in the weeks to come.