1/1 WWE NXT Report
January 2, 2014
LIVE! From Full Sail University
by Emerson “Merry New Year!” Witner
Any questions, comments concerns or emotional outbursts? Contact me:
Here’s what you need to know about NXT:
-The NXT Champion is Bo Dallas. He defeated Big E. Langston on June 13 after teasing a heel turn on May 16. Bo’s character has evolved into this delusional guy who thinks the fans love him when they hate him almost as much as people hate Cena.
-They also have Tag Team Champions, Conor O’Brien and Rick Victor, better known as The Ascension. They won the belts on October 3, defeating Adrian Neville and Corey Graves
-Paige is the first ever Woman’s Champion. She captured the belt on July 25 defeating Emma in the finals of a grueling tournament, which was not held in Rio De Janero.
-John “Bradshaw” Layfield is the Interim General Manager of the show, replacing Dusty Rhodes who Triple H fired in a power trip.
-The announce team is constantly rotating with some combination of Byron Saxton, William Regal, Brad Maddox, Alex Riley, Tensai, Renee Young and Tom Phillips
And that’s everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)
-Before we begin this is your weekly reminder that over on WrestleCrap.com I go into the way back machine and discover legendary moments in 140 characters of less for Epic Tweets In Wrestling History.
It is 2014! My resolution is be more like Phil Dunphy.
-As we start the show we are informed that Tyler Breeze has entered the building.
1.) Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) beat Kofi Kingston
1.) Lana looks amazing in a business suit.
2.) I voted for Great Khali in the poll with Khali, Kofi and Miz on Monday.
Alex Riley keeps mentioning that Kofi has won 10 championships in WWE, which just seems amazing. The fans were so into this match that they chanted “SAWFT”. Rusev beat on him from the bell, Kofi made a basic comeback and went to the top rope. Lana distracted him, Rusev threw him off and submitted him with The Accolade.
-Sylvester Lefort announced he is holding auditions for a new client…starting with a fat, hairy guy called Bull Dempsey. But Sylvester then turned him down for being too fat and hairy.
Mason Ryan walked in and shoved a dollar in Lefort’s mouth.
2.) Emma retained her #1 Contender spot to the Women’s Championship, by forcing Natalya to submit.
Emma has been #1 Contender for the last three months and still hasn’t gotten her title shot, so instead she is defending her title shot against Nattie.
The most shocking part of this match was Tom Phillips pointed out that the Dil-Emma is Tajiri’s old Tarantula hold, which was never mentioned in the past year.
Nattie played subtle heel, she went for a Sharpshooter, but Emma with a small package for a 2 count and then Emma won the match with the Emma Lock.
-Up next was the first ever sing off between Aiden English and Colin Cassidy. Colin is losing something without Enzo there.
Aiden did some Italian Opera. Colin sang O Danny Boy, but with changed lyrics about Aiden. Honestly Aiden was better, but Colin wins. Aiden refused to lose, so we got Round 2.
Aiden ran down the fans for having no taste. Colin sang You Suck to the tune of My Girl. Aiden took offense to this and attacked Colin, beating him down.
3.) Tyler Breeze pinned Mason Ryan.
Good news! Tyler Breeze finally moved from his seasonal residences in Milan (for all of summer and fall) to Brazil.
Mason is down to 291 pounds. Less weight on his shoulders when he does the job. Sylvester Lefort wandered down to ringside before the match started. Mason knocked down Tyler, rolled outside and gave a clothesline to Sylvester! What did he ever do to you?
Mason rolled back in and was hit with The Beauty Shot and Tyler wins! That shows you, Mason, for n not paying attention during the match.
-Next week is The Ascension vs Huni-Cara and Camacho in a Tornado Match.
-Tyler Breeze has left the building before the main event. Remember that rant Ric Flair did to Carlito when he left the building before a Shawn Michaels-Edge-Randy Orton Triple Threat match?
4.) Sami Zayn took two out of three falls from Leo Kruger, 2-0.
I honestly don’t remember the last time Sami Zayn has won a match here on NXT.
Zayn actually won the first fall. Leo beat on him inside and outside of the ring for several minutes, but Zayn suddenly cut him off with a Exploder Suplex into the corner and a Yakuza Kick for the first fall.
We came back from commercial with both men standing on the ropes and Leo shoved hi off, sending Sami crashing onto the ramp outside. He just made it in before the count out, so Kruger hit a DDT, almost picking up a fall. The second fall went longer than most WWE second falls. Y’ever wonder why WWE always has the second fall go a couple minutes, while the first and third falls are nice and lengthy?
Leo hit move after move, but couldn’t put away The Generic French Canadian. Finally Zayn missed a cross body off the top rope, so Leo slapped on the GC3. Zayn almost tapped, but made it to the opes!
Leo got incredibly frustrated at this point. Sami fought back and got laid out with a Spinebuster. Leo set up for the Slice, but Sami ducked and hit an STO and slapped on What A Submission Hold for the tap!
Sami not only wins, but he wins two straight over Leo!
-That does it from Orlando! Before I go, I should point out that this week was Day 203 of Bo Dallas’ reign as the longest reigning NXT Champion of the last 25 years. Until next week when we are at 30 weeks and Day 210, say your vitamins and take your prayers!