9/12 NXT Recap: Xavier Woods vs. Leo Kruger
Sep 16, 2013 - by Steve Gerweck
September 12, 2013
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by Emerson “I boycott your boycott” Witner
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Here’s what you need to know about NXT:
-The NXT Champion is Bo Dallas. He defeated Big E. Langston on June 13 after teasing a heel turn on May 16. Bo’s character has evolved into this delusional guy who thinks the fans love him when they hate him almost as much as people hate Cena.
-They also have Tag Team Champions, Corey Graves and Adrian Neville, who defeated The Family on July 18. Neville had previously been champions with Oliver Grey, but Grey was injured by The Family. Graves and Kassius Ohno were #1 Contender’s to the titles, but The Family injured Ohno.
-Paige is the first ever Woman’s Champion. She captured the belt on July 25 defeating Emma in the finals of a grueling tournament, which was not held in Rio De Janero.
-Sylvester Lefort’s men, Alexander Rusev and Scott Dawson are feuding with Enzo Amore and Colin Cassidy over who is The Most Real Guys In NXT. Meanwhile all four of them are somehow also feuding with Mason Ryan.
-Zeb Colter is trying to deport Sami Zayn, Tyler Breeze is a model, Bayley is a mark and Emma dances. What more could you want?
-Dusty Rhodes is the Authority Figure, but his job title seems to change from week to week.
-The announce team is constantly rotating with some combination of Tony Dawson, William Regal, Brad Maddox, Alex Riley and Tom Phillips
And that’s everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)
1.) Enzo Amore and Colin Cassidy defeated Alexander Rusev (w/board) and Scott Dawson (w/Sylvester Lefort) by disqualification.
Just before starting the show I couldn’t for the life of me remember the names of Amore and Cassidy. Amore gets on the mic before the match and points out that Colin is 7 feet tall and you cannot teach that. Sylvester is wearing His Gold Jacket for the third week in a row. This feud is awesome just for the promos between Amore and Lefort. The French Legionnaire’s titantron now has a picture of Sylvester Lefort on US Currency.
Dawson recently shaved his head….or if he was always bald I have never noticed, which might show you how much attention I pay to this show.
This match technically features two heel teams, which you would think would make for a strange tag team match, but they got heat on Dawson, who finally cut off Amore and Team France got more heat on Amore.
Dawson and Rusev have the nastiest looking finisher ever where Dawson picked up Enzo for the Hart Attack, but Rusev came off the ropes with a spinning heel kick which saw him kick Amore right on top of the head with the back of his foot. Anyway Rusev and Dawson were disqualified for being in the ring for 5 seconds.
-A commercial for Bryan vs Orton at Night of Champions aired. I predict Bryan wins the title with a running knee and a strange fast count that never gets mentioned. I must say my predictions have gotten a lot better these last 4 or 5 months ever since I started reviewing NXT on Sunday night.
-Not Renee Young (pretty blonde nameless ring announcer) introduces our NXT Champion, Bo Dallas, to the ring.
Bo talks about how his fans are behind him and he loves all of them just like they love him. Spoiler alert: they don’t.
Bo said that Sami Zayn is a good little guy and when Bo is healthy he would be happy to have a match with Sami. He makes sure to point out that it won’t be a title match because Sami doesn’t deserve it. I was expecting Sami to come out, but alas, Bo just put down the mic and walked off.
-Backstage The Real Renee Young interviews CJ Parker about his feud with Tyler Breeze. Parker is a hippy who stole Tyler Reks’ dreadlocks. Anyway, Parker did a promo…so Tyler attacked him, beat him down and then took a picture of himself laying on top of CJ.
2.) Woman’s Champion Paige pinned The Love Of My Life, The Gorgeous Sasha Banks
I promise to try to not fawn all over Sasha during this match, which I believe is her first match since losing to Summer Rae in the first round of the NXT Woman’s Title Tournament. Sadly this is not a title match, so the love of my life will not be winning the title with her win tonight. Tony Dawson called this a “Title-free Match”.
Turns out this show was taped near the date of Paige’s birthday as the fans chanted “Happy Birthday” at her. Sasha had a fire lit under her cute ass the last two weeks by Summer Rae.
A lot of roll ups and school girls and what have you during the match, with Sasha trying time and again to get the surprise win in the early going. Paige kicked Sasha in the hair, while she was in the corner. Sasha with the greatest move ever, as she does a school girl into the corner, which causes the champ to smash her head into the bottom turnbuckle.
This match was unusually long for a Woman’s match, going 9 minutes of tv time, with a commercial break in the middle.
The fans were so into this match that they chanted “YES!”, which indicates that YES they want Sasha t win this match. Paige with 10 knees to the beautiful face of Sasha.
The finish saw Sasha go for a cross body, but Paige rolled through and scored the pin.
Sasha was very sad after this match. I need to go console her.
Anyway, Paige went for a handshake, but Sasha kept shoving her away. Finally Paige turned to leave, so Sasha attacked her from behind! Sasha slapped Paige’s breasts several times, before dropping the champion with a Rude Awakening.
-The WWE MSG DVD and Blu-Ray is out. I can see why some people are very disappointed with it. There are quite a few matches that have been on a boat load of DVD’s already.
-Backstage Sasha is texting me when Summer Rae walked onto camera. Because Summer is like 9 inches taller than Sasha the camera had to pan up when she entered the screen.
Anyway, Sasha thanked Summer for her help and gave her a hug.
-The text Sasha sent me read “Thanks 🙂 #LuvYa”
Don’t ask me why she uses hashtags in her text messages.
3.) Xavier Woods pinned Leo Kruger (NOW WITH REAL ARMBAR ACTION!)
It is now time for the Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ain Event. This is a match that could air any Wednesday at 8 on Ion Television and would be the main event in any arena in the world.
What is more forgettable? Consequences Creed’s TWO reigns as TNA Tag Team Champion (one of which being when he replaced Pacman Jones and the other was when Jay Lethal cashed in Feast Or Fired on Beer Money and then lost the belts back 3 days later) or Xavier Woods’ “Stuck In The Early-90’s” gimmick?
Anyway Mr. Regal forgot Leo Kruger’s name and spent several minutes talking about Leo being right handed, which is what you missed while I typed up the preceding two paragraphs.
I wonder if Leo and Kassius Ohno are still friends or if Leo still hates Richie Steamboat? Don’t know the answer to either, but Xavier is having no luck getting in any offense, as Leo spent many minutes working on the left arm of Woods.
Do you remember the story from Have A Nice Day where Mick talks about doing his anti-Hardcore gimmick in ECW and doing matches that were just long headlock after long headlock? Replace “headlock” with “armbar” and “Mick Foley” with “Leo Kruger” and that is this match.
There is a video of an Andre The Giant-Big John Studd match on Daily Motion where Andre literally fell asleep for close to 10 minutes while Studd had him in a chin lock. I was starting to worry that Xavier fell asleep when he finally fought out of the armbar.
Xavier selling the arm.
Woods went for the Honor Roll, but Leo caught him and dropped him with a Double A Spinebuster. Leo missed The Slice, but kicked out of Lost In The Woods. Finally Xavier won with the Honor Roll and Gail Kim’s Eat Defeat move.
-Xavier dances as the show goes off the air. Until next time Keep Calm and Armbar.