8/29 WWE NXT Recap
August 29, 2013
LIVE! From Full Sail University
by Emerson “I Bo-lieve in the Emmalution” Witner
Any questions, comments concerns or emotional outbursts? Contact me:
Here’s what you need to know about NXT:
-The NXT Champion is Bo Dallas. He defeated Big E. Langston on June 13 and teased a heel turn back on May 16, but it hasn’t been mentioned since.
-They also have Tag Team Champions, Corey Graves and Adrian Neville, who defeated The Family on July 18. Neville had previously been champions with Oliver Grey, but Grey was injured by The Family. Graves and Kassius Ohno were #1 Contender’s to the titles, but The Family injured Ohno.
-Newly crowned is Paige as the first ever Woman’s Champion. She captured the belt on July 25 defeating Emma in the finals of a grueling tournament, which was not held in Rio De Janero.
-Dusty Rhodes is the Authority Figure, but his job title seems to change from week to week.
-The announce team is constantly rotating with some combination of Tony Dawson, William Regal, Brad Maddox, Alex Riley and Tom Phillips
And that’s everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)
-The show starts with Corey Graves talking to Renee Young backstage to start the show when he is confronted by Rick Victor. Victor makes a challenge, Graves tells him to jump, so Conor O’Brien attacks from behind, leading to a 2-on-1 Ascension beat down of Graves, including dropping a big metal do-hickey onto his ribs.
-Before I go in too far, my brother has demanded a shout out because Sami Callihan’s name is Solomon Crowe. Before you ask, I have no damn idea either.
1.) Tyler Breeze pinned CJ Parker. This match was set up last week when Tyler realized that CJ was photo bombing him. The fans had dueling chants of “Break his phone” and “NO!”. Tony Dawson announces some breaking news, that being that Bo Dallas has suffered an injury and this will lead to monumental repercussions. His words, not mine. Back to the match, they stalled for a full minute, Parker borrowed Zack Ryder’s old tights, with the one leg missing. Bryan and Vinny will no doubt hate this match since it was a shit load of stalling with the offense revolving around Tyler’s phone. Parker with a 20-second Airplane Spin, which only made Breeze dizzy. Anyhoo Breeze poked Parker in the eyes with the phone for the win.
-Backstage Renee Young is interviewing Emma about the rivalry she has with Summer Rae. Emma apparently has the Money in the Bank of NXT Woman’s Title shots as she gets her title shot whenever she wants it and is ready for it.
-A new commercial for WWEShop.com aired with some guy buying a shit load of gear. Honestly the one with John Cena buying 10,000 of his own t-shirt was better.
-Tyler Breeze has left the building. He really should shower first.
2.) Emma submitted Summer Rae. These two got it on back in the second round of the Woman’s Title Tournament, with Emma winning. They rematched in the first ever NXT Dance Battle. Emma won that as well, but Summer violently attacked the Australian lass. I am a member of the Emmalution. Neither lady is particularly good, but you get Emma on the main roster and she will be a favorite very quickly. Summer got a pop because of her alliance with Faaaaaaan….daaaaaaan…..goooooo, but the fans quickly stopped caring about her. Emma locked on the Dil-Emma, which caused an ECW chant from one person (It is Tajiri’s old Octopus hold) and she won with the Emma Lock.
-After the match Summer….pushed Emma outside the ring and POURED THE BUBBLE SOLUTION FROM EMMA’S BUBBLE GUN INTO EMMA’S FACE! WHAT A DASTARDLY HEEL!
-Earlier today was an awesome meeting with Scott Dawson, Sylvester Lefort, Colin Cassidy and Enzo Amore. Sylvester said that if they form an alliance they will make lots of MONEY! Enzo and Colin pointed out Scott always loses. Scott pointed out that Enzo and Colin were Jersey Shore wannabe’s. Them’s fighting words.
-Backstage some guy is texting when Summer Rae begins to leave the building when the Love Of My Life, Sasha Banks confronts her. Summer says that she is on Raw and SmackDown every week while Sasha is never on the show. This is Summer’s pitch to get Sasha to join her.
Turns out Sasha is getting a title shot in two weeks. Summer told Sasha to find her back bone before her title match.
3.) In a match to determine, and I quote, The Most Real Guy In NXT, Scott Dawson (w/Sylvester Lefort) pinned Enzo Amore (w/Colin Cassidy). Oh…my….God, Sylvester has the greatest fucking jacket of all time. Enzo is easily the most popular wrestler on the show who is not a WWE guy. Despite being a heel, Enzo is cheered like the second coming of Stone Cold, so Scott got the heat on him. Enzo was making his come back when Alexander Rusev ran down and attacked Colin Cassidy, which distracted Enzo and Dawson picked up the win with the Angle Slam.
-After the match Lefort, Dawson and Rusev stood on the ramp, arms raised.
-A video package aired for the over-hyped Antonio Cesaro-Sami Zayn 2 out of 3 Falls Match from last week aired.
Renee Young stood mid-ring and introduced the Generic French Canadian. Zayn flirted incessantly with Renee. Zayn is conflicted, while he has heard how great the match was, at the end of the day he still lost. He also lost most of the matches with Cesaro. Sami said he wants to wrestle him again, but he doesn’t know when that might happen, so his focus is now on the NXT Championship.
This brings out our incredibly awesome champion, Bo Dallas, who the fans still hate. Bo pointed out that even though some people said the match was great, Sami lost. They don’t interview the losing team after the Super Bowl.
Bo said he would love to have a match with Sami, but Sami injured him at SummerSlam Axxess. Bo said Sami was a good kid, but has a lot of work before he can become like Bo.
Sami called Bo a delusional kid who has no idea that everybody hates him. Bo continued to smile as he said that everybody loved him.
Sami accused Bo of being scared, which actually brought out Zeb Colter.
Zeb told Bo that as a real American, he doesn’t need to answer any questions. Zeb ordered Sami to cough up some legal documentation that shows he is a legal citizen and not a border jumper who is stealing jobs from people.
Sami told Zeb that once he wins the NXT Title he will deport Zeb and Cesaro to hell.
Suddenly Jack Swagger appeared from “out of nowhere” and attacked El Zaynerico. Swagger laid him out and placed his Don’t Tread On Me flag over him.
-A video package aired for the NXT portion of SummerSlam Axxess.
Jack Swagger vs Sami Zayn
4.) Adrian Neville pinned Conor O’Brian (w/Rick Victor). Main Event time! Apparently Rick Victor stole Corey Graves NXT Tag Team Title belt during the attack. They smartly started this match with less than 8 minutes of internet time left, as I have had to watch one too many 10+ minute Conor O’Brian main event singles matches. Conor got the heat when he dropped Adrian throat-first over the top rope. We went to commercial just as Conor took over and came back just as Adrian started his comeback. If I was a betting man I would say Conor fucked something up. Adrian went for a crossbody from the top rope…which Conor turned into an STO, which looked awesome. Neville took back over and hit the 450 Splash for the pin, instead of the Red Arrow. This match had too much editing for being this good live.
-After the match Ascension went for a 2-on-1 beating of Neville. The show was threatening to end the same way it started when Corey Graves hit the ring for the save, badly limping and wearing the DDP Rib Tape.
Turns out that was a bad idea as not everyone can shake off bad ribs like Page did for almost two years. Graves got his second beating of the night and was left lying as The Ascension stood tall as the show went off the air.
That is it from Orlando, we’ll see you next week!