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‘Total Divas’ Episode five recap

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Whoever said you can’t go home again obviously never watched “Total Divas,” because The Bella Twins do just that this week. Or rather, it’s Brie who heads back to pay a visit to the sisters’ grandmother, brother (molto Bellas this week!) and, most delicately, their father. That’s a reunion which Nikki – whose relationship with the man is strained at best – only consents to after some gentle prodding from John Cena, and it goes about as well as one might expect. Tears are shed and Nikki takes her dad to task over his previous, significant shortcomings. The old man’s promise to do better, though, has her looking on the upside for the first time in a while where he’s concerned, so it ends on a happy note at least.

Points are deducted in bulk from Tyson Kidd (TJ) when, instead of treating Natalya to a nice birthday dinner, he tries to drag her along to his mother’s house for a family get-together. Given Mama Tyson’s rather intrusive involvement in their relationship, Natalya is most displeased by all this. In fact, TJ’s actions are enough to drive Nattie right into the chiseled arms of Jaret the Tanning Guy, an old chum of Nattie’s who reserves an entire restaurant so he can make a last-ditch declaration of love. It’s all very awkward, but much more distressing is that we never hear Natalya’s response.

The Funkadactyls’ friendship is fraying rapidly since the laid-back Naomi (Trinity) is becoming fast fed up with Cameron’s (Ariane) high-maintenance personality. They come to blows at, of all places, a go-kart track, with Eva Marie, JoJo and a crowd of bystanders around to bear witness. Much to the chagrin of the long-suffering Talent Relations crew (Mark Carrano, our hearts bleed for you), they decide to break up the tag team, and though mommas are not called, Stephanie McMahon is. She grants Naomi & Cameron their wish to be singles competitors, but when that experiment crashes and burns in rather spectacular fashion, the ladies go all “You complete me” on each other and get the band back together by episode’s end.

Oh, and why do we wear bronzer to the gym? Because we never know when Roman Reigns will be at there. So speaketh Eva Marie. Looks like someone believes in The Shield.

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