Pro Wrestling Since 1997


7/30 WWE house show results from Perth, Australia

1) Zack Ryder beat Antonio Cesaro & Heath Slater – triple threat match for a shot at the United States Championship. Big “We the People” chants, Australians are pretty tired of immigrants sneaking across our borders too. Quite funny match, Slater was out of the ring for most of the match and any time he would try to get back in he would be bumped off the apron. Cesaro had a hilariously long aeroplane spin on Slater and they both sold being dizzy for quite a while including Slater falling over on the entrance ramp long after the match had finished.

2) Natalya beat Aksana. Large and creepy pop when Justin Roberts announced it’s time for the Diva’s match which was followed by a number of requests for the divas to disrobe/show various body parts. I was slightly distracted during this match as a morbidly obese woman returned to the row in front of me carrying far too much food which she distributed to her obese kids. Perth can be such a hick town. Funny moment when the rolling cat fight rolled over the referee who leaped in the air to celebrate that the divas had rolled over him.

After the match, Ryback delivered a promo by pre-recorded video, something about Australians being ignorant wallaby shaggers, bit hard to hear, the speakers weren’t that clear. Ryback was wearing a leather vest which he wasn’t wearing later on when he came out to wrestle. Come on WWE, if you are going to pre-record a promo before you come out to Australia, could you at least pay a bit more attention to continuity?

3) Great Khali beat Jinder Mahal. There was a large group of men behind me wearing turbans, they were probably wearing them for religious reasons, but I like to think they were just enthusiastic Jinder Mahal fans. Kinda sad how much trouble Khali was having just walking to the ring. After defeating Mahal, Khali summoned 5 small boys to the ring for an impromptu dance party with Justin Roberts, nothing suss.

4) Dean Ambrose defeated Zack Ryder to retain the United States Championship. I didn’t really understand why there would be a United States Championship match in Australia, but I suspended my disbelief.

Justin Roberts then came into the ring to shill all the wonderful merchandise that was on offer including photos that had been personally autographed by the Ryback. This led to the intermission, during this time some #WWEPerth tweets were displayed on the screen. Here were my favourite #WWEPerth tweets:
– @_drunkenjesus_ – Can’t wait to see Cena and Ryback pound each other in the ring!!! #WWEPerth (kinda kinky, but if that’s what you are into, good luck to you)
– @WrestlingWerkz – John Cena? Lol I could work a better match with my teddy bear. #WWEPerth
– @adololhahahah – Shout out to jack aitken!!!! Go cena!! #WWEPERTH

Riveting stuff, fan interaction at its best. Anyway, back to the show.

5) Curtis Axel defeated The Miz in a Perth Street Fight (decided by popular acclaim over a 2/3 falls match) . I didn’t think the match was a particularly authentic take on a street fight in Perth, no one had jagged broken glass rammed into their eye socket, no one punch homicides. Just some fairly tame kendo stick and chair shots until Axel got the win.

6) Daniel Bryan and Kane beat Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns w/Dean Ambrose by DQ in a WWE Tag Team Championship match. Daniel Bryan = Greatest Of All Time. Ambrose interfered to get the DQ. After the match, Bryan and Kane executed chokeslams on Rollins and Reigns. Bryan got on the mic to ask whether he or Kane had the better chokeslam. Bryan tried to chokeslam Kane with no success. Kane then tried to chokeslam Bryan, but they ended up hugging it out. Comedy gold.

7) John Cena beat Ryback in a tables match to retain the WWE Championship. Ryback cut a promo before the match where he prompted people to chant “Goldberg” before getting upset that people were chanting “Goldberg”. He said that, after winning his first WWE Championship, he planned to celebrate by having a juicy steak and then going into the middle of Perth, pulling down his pants and dumping a giant “Goldberg” right in the street.


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3 Responses

  1. MC Live says:

    Thanks to the guy who wrote this in, but a few parts made me question the education level of Australia. Would somebody like to inform the writer that it’s quite possible for Ryback to have a Pre-recorded message towards the beginning of the show, and then change, which takes about 2 minutes, for the end of the show, over an hour later. It’s not a continuity problem, that’s a common sense problem. Also, why have a United States Championship match in Australia? Because it’s a championship. It may be the US Championship, but it’s not US exclusive. A championship is a championship. It can be defended anywhere

  2. socal says:

    Lol at the stupid racist who sent in these results, re: his comments concerning the “we the people” chants.

    I was at the Sydney show. People chanted along with every and all opportunity available. It’s not as if we the people makes sense for Australia at all; but rather because we are starved for live wwe. We only get one show a year so die hard fans turn out and the wwe gets a super hot crowd as a result. Even the jobbers got huge heat at the Sydney show.

    Chanting and wrestler gimmicks like cesaros that involve crowd participation are a way for the crowd to feel a part of the show. Even in the usa people say cesaros line along with him; for this reason. Its fun to be a part of the show.

    In neither country is he getting cheers or a face reaction. I.e. no one supports his spoof anti immigrant views. The wwe specifically makes his views or rather coulters, so absurd and offensive it can only get booed and it does. And if the report writer thinks this parody gimmick is popular therefore because people are anti immigration then I feel sorry for him as clearly he is not only a racist but a complete numpty as well… though I suspect being a racist and an ignorant fool are a natural match.

  3. socal says:

    Also how does one sneak across a border composed entirely of water? Ie. You’re not bright.

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