5/8 WWE Main Event Recap
By: Kevin Hensley
WWE Main Event Recap
May 8, 2013 (Taped May 7, 2013)
Raleigh, NC at PNC Arena
Commentators: Michael Cole & John “Bradshaw” Layfield
-Main Event opens, with full pyro
-Randy Orton’s music hits, and he heads to the ring, ever so slowly, for the opening match. His opponent? Antonio Cesaro. Yep, again.
1. Randy Orton VS Antonio Cesaro
-Both men chain wrestle for the first minute and a half. Interesting. Finally, things pick up…a little, anyway, with Orton stomping away at Cesaro on the mat. Randy picks up Antonio and knocks him back down, promptly, with an uppercut. Knee drop gets a one count. SLOW transition into a suplex. One, and that’s it. Antonio kicks out quick. Cesaro pushes Orton in the corner, and shoulder thrusts Orton in the gut. Antonio sets Randy on the top rope, but Orton knocks him away. That just makes Cesaro mad, as he pushes Orton off the ropes and to the floor, and we go to break 3:31 into the match.
-Before we join the action, we find out that FAN….DAN….GO will have a “dance-off” with Chris Jericho on Raw this Monday night. So, the WWE pops a 2.9 rating this past Monday night, and this is how they re-bound. I want to be wrong, I really do.
-Back to the ring, and Antonio has Randy in a reverse chinlock. Orton fights out, off the ropes, and yes kids, it’s THE KNEE TO THE GUT. One, two, no. Cesaro in shock he didn’t get three. Antonio headbutts Randy, then a snapmare into a double stomp for one, two, nada. Cesaro hits the gutwrench suplex. One, two, no. Antonio with a big uppercut, and another two count. Randy rolls outside, and Antonio rewards him with a double axe handle from the apron, and then drops Orton head-first across the guardrail. After the ref reaches seven, Randy rolls in and promptly gets covered, but no count, Orton wiggles free. Cesaro locks in a sleeperhold, and then decides to just administer a chinlock. Randy gets free, and the two trade uppercuts, and Antonio wins the battle (as if there was any doubt.) Orton finally hits two clotheslines, the powerslam, and then tries for the second-rope DDT, but Antonio breaks loose, drops Randy over the top to the apron, then drops Randy with a low-bridge across the top rope. Cesaro comes out and TRIES TO GERMAN SUPLEX ORTON OFF THE APRON, but that doesn’t happen. Randy fights him off, then misses a splash and crashes into the guardrail, shoulder first, and we go to break, again, 8:59 into the match.
-Back to the action, and Cesaro is working over Orton’s arm, by slamming it into the ringpost. Antonio then climbs up top, but flies into a dropkick from Randy. Orton gets a two count. Randy locks in a headlock, but Antonio wisely attacks the injured arm. Orton flips out, ducks around and hits the reverse backbreaker. Cesaro up, whips Orton in and hits the Michinoku Driver for one, two, eh. Antonio and Randy next battle on the top rope, and Orton wins, nailing a BIG superplex. Cover, one, two, uh-uh. Both men slow to get up after that. Antonio catches Randy charging in the corner with a knee to the face, then a forearm across the back of the head, one, two, no. Cesaro locks in an armbar, on the good arm (the right.) Orton ever so slightly reaches the ropes to break the hold. Antonio stalks Randy, and then attacks Orton with a barrage of punches. The ref pulls him away; he comes back in and quickly gets flipped around and set up for the second-rope DDT, which connects this time. Does the crowd want the RKO? Randy wants to know! He drops down to strike, but Cesaro throws him off, up in the air and catches him with an uppercut coming down. One, two, 2.99999999999. Antonio cracks his neck, but Orton, channeling his inner Bret Hart, plays “possum” and nails the RKO to get the 1, 2, 3.
Winner: Randy Orton in 15:29. Sometimes, longer matches are not necessarily a good idea. This would be one of those times. The match was SLOW, which is par for the course with Orton involved, and while it had some good action, the flow was so choppy, with little spurts every so often instead of steady, that is hurt. Generosity flows through me tonight, we’ll go ** ½.
-After a replay of highlights of the match, Orton stands tall.
-The Raw Rebound, featuring the latest Cena/Ryback drama.
-Graphic for the Cena/Ryback Last Man Standing Match at Extreme Rules for the WWE Championship follows the Rebound.
-UP NEXT! Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman STOLE THE SHOW Monday night on Raw by destroying HHH’s office, then Hunter came out to respond… Hey, who am I to tell you what happened?! You can relive it, next!
-An ad for the WWE teaming up with the Susan G. Komen Cure for the Cause Foundation airs, featuring Alicia Fox. Great cause, great to see WWE helping out, still.
-Did You Know?…I didn’t catch it. But, it doesn’t matter. Maybe.
-Lesnar/HHH will take place at Extreme Rules in a Steel Cage Match. That transitions smoothly to the previously mentioned destruction of HHH’s office, and is worth checking out, if not for Heyman’s sly remarks and Lesnar no-selling it all.
-IT’S THE THREE MAN BAND, BABY!!! Here they come for six-man tag team action. We see highlights from the Slater/Gabriel match on Main Event last week. Here comes Justin, with a mic. He tells Heath he’s found two partners, and here come The Usos! This has SO much potential, let’s hope it lives up to it, next!
-But first! Buy the new WrestleMania 29 DVD, out NOW!!!
-AND…The Miz WILL take time to appear on Main Event, which airs RIGHT NOW, on Ion Television. Now, can we go to break?
-This past Monday on Raw, Mark Henry whipped Sheamus “like a government mule,” and now, they’ll be facing off in a Strap Match at Extreme Rules. Why would Henry do this? “THAT’S WHAT HE DOES!”
-Bell rings for the six-man tag, and here we go!
2. The 3MB VS Justin Gabriel & The Usos: Six-Man Tag Team Match
-An Uso and Jinder start. After some chain wrestling, Jinder tries to ram the Uso’s head into the turnbuckle, but that doesn’t work BECAUSE HE’S SAMOAN AND HE HAS A HARD HEAD. Didn’t do his homework. All three members of the face team work over Mahal’s left arm for a bit, until he finally tags out to Drew McIntyre. Drew and an Uso trade blows, until McIntyre locks in a headlock. He gets pushed off, shoulderblocks the Uso down. Leap over, hiptoss, blocked, THAT hiptoss blocked, and the Uso just clothesline McIntyre down. One, and no. Drew whips the Uso down with his hair, and then tags in Mahal, who gets in trouble again. Demolition Decapitation on Jinder, but NO COVER? WHAT???!!! And the faces smartly work over the left arm again. Believe I’d have tried a pin after the big move, but whatever. What do I know? Jinder whips the Uso in, and Slater low-bridges, sending the Uso to the floor. We go to break 3:04 into the match.
-GO SEE THE FUNKASAURUS GET HIS…um….killing on, as “No One Lives” comes out this Friday.
-Back to the match, and Mahal and McIntyre double-team the Uso. Jinder stays in as the legal man, works him over, and then tags in Heath. Slater comes in and gets his Johnny B. Badd punching combo in. Reverse chinlock, and the Uso battles out. Irish whip, Heath reverses, ducks down, the Uso flips over into a schoolboy for 1, 2, no. That was unique. Slater takes back over, locks in a front facelock, but the Uso gets out of that as well. Heath gets sent into the corner, and the tag to the fresh Uso, and Drew McIntyre on the heel side. Clotheslines, chops, slams, the kitchen sink, a 1979 Ford Pinto and a hole punch all get used here. You catch my drift? The action breaks down until Justin gets tagged in, comes in with a springboard crossbody, and then catches Jinder napping on the apron. Gabriel ducks under, lands a big kick to the head, then a springboard moonsault for 1, 2, no. 3MB tries to head toward the locker room, but Gabriel with a crossbody over the top rope, but THE 3MB caught him. No matter, here comes an Uso to knock down the pile. Nice. Back in, and the action breaks down, with everyone hitting their finisher, until Gabriel catches McIntyre with the 450 for the three count.
Winners: Justin Gabriel & The Usos in 8:45. That match could’ve been SO much better, but it was choppy as well. The end of the match really saved it, we’ll go **.
-After a replay of the finish, Gabriel & The Usos stand tall in the ring, and we’ll see you next week!
FINAL THOUGHTS: A ho-hum episode of WWE Main Event. Nothing bad, but nothing spectacular. The matches couldn’t get out of first gear, or so it seemed. Tonight’s show gets **.