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12/12 WWE Raw Recap (Slammy Awards edition)



* Live from Norfolk, VA

– We start a with a promo video for the Slammy Awards.
– Pyro, followed by Michael Cole welcoming us to the show. At ringside, Cole and Lawler kick off the show.

* First Slammy presentation – “Tell me I didn’t just see that award” presented by Booker T and Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle talked about Booker T winning the IC title Sunday at TLC. Nominees: Jim Ross, Santino, R-Truth, The Rock, The Miz

WINNER: JIM ROSS

Jim Ross, who came out with Eve and Alicia Fox, accepted the award. He said he couldn’t believe he’d win a Slammy for getting jiggy with it. Michael Cole is outraged, and protests in the ring. Booker T said Cole is a sore loser, and said JR could beat Cole in a rap off. Cole said he listens to Enimne, not eat M&M’s like JR. Cole went first, and rapped about beating The King at Wrestlemania, and continually making fun of Ross. Booker said that was the worst rap he has ever heard. JR seemed to making up his lyrics as he rapped, telling Cole he can kiss his ass. Booker T declared JR the winner by crowd reaction. Ross is about to leave the ring, but Booker T said its time for a JR-roni. Booker T’s music played, and Book does a spinaroni, and encouraged him to do. Book encouraged Ross by chanting “JR, JR.” Ross did spin around in the ring, as Cole said this was the worse thing he has ever seen and he continued to hurl insults.

Backstage, Mick Foley is ready to present a Slammy!

* Next Slammy presentation by Mick Foley and Ted DiBiase for the “Holy bleep moment of the year” – nominees: Sheamus, Randy Orton, Big Show and Mark Henry for breaking the ring, and Evan Bourne going air borne off the ladder.

WINNERS: Big Show and Mark Henry.

Big Show accepts for the both of them. He said the award is for being visually spectacular, and would his slammy would look good with the world heavyweight title belt. We see a clip of Big Show-Henry angle from Smackdown, where Show worked over Henry’s ankle, and slamming him with a chair. Big Show said he was going to the ring to be visually spectacular.

(1) The Big Show vs. Wade Barrett. Before the match, Barrett cut a promo on Orton for TLC. Barrett said if Big Show wins the title, he’ll be coming for him next.

commercial break.

After the break, the match is joined in progress. Barrett slams Show in the ring post, and leaves him by a table on the outside. Show recovers and demolishes the table. Big Show delivers a right hand, but Barrett gets disqualified for using a chair at 1:34 after the break.

They plug for later tonight, Henry vs. Cena.

* Next presentation by The Road Dogg Jesse James. Pipe Bomb of the Year – nominees are:

WINNER: CM Punk

CM Punk came out with a mannequin wearing a Dynamic Dudes t-shirt and talked about how boring John Laurinaitis is, and show a highlight of his career. Wow, Shane Douglas seen again on WWE television. Punk accepted a life time award achievement award for him, and impersonated his voice.

– Later tonight, CM Punk and Randy Orton vs. The Miz and Alberto Del Rio. Wow, this show is really lacking thus far.

* Next presenter, Lita. Divaliciious moment of the year – nominees – Natalya, Kelly Kelly, Kharma, Beth Phoenix

WINNER: Kelly Kelly

Kelly Kelly comes out, but followed by Natalya and Beth Phoenix. Beth grabs the slammy from Kelly, but Kelly slaps her and grabs it back.

We see a WWE ’12 match pitting Henry vs. Cena to hype the actual match later on.

* Trending star of the year – presenters, David Otunga and Tony Atlas. Atlas just laughs at Otunga. Bad laughing, geesh. Nominees – Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, and Zack Ryder – to be decided in a fatal four way match.


(2) Fatal four way match – Zach Ryder vs. IC champion Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. United States champion Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero).

Commercial break.

The first one of the competitors that trends on Twitter wins the Slammy. Yawn. Another commercial break during the match.

Winner: Ziggler via the Zig Zag on Daniel Bryan

Winner of the trending star of the year – Zack Ryder (as presented by Jerry Lawler). Ziggler nails Ryder and the grabs the Slammy.

Tonight’s secret word is dinosaur. Secret word instructions

* Next presenter, Christian, wearing a neck brace, walking boot, and using crutches. Christian awards himself the most courageous award of the year for showing up tonight. Christian wants to know why he isn’t nominated for WWE superstar of the year. He blames the fans for not showing enough outrage for not getting what he deserved, another title shot. Game changer of the year – nominees – HHH and Mr. McMahon, Edge, Kevin Nash, The Rock and John Cena

WINNER: Rock challenges Cena for the main event at Wrestlemania 28.

John Cena comes out to accept. Cena said he isn’t out here to take accept all the credit, and introduces the most electrifying man in sports entertainment, but of course, he isn’t here tonight. Cena said sometimes The Rock speaks via satellite, but tonight, there is no clip from The Rock. He apologizes for Team Bring it, for not bringing it. Cena said he hopes The Rock sees this and charges his preparation for Wrestlemania. Cena said Wrestlemania 28 will be the biggest in Wrestlemania history. Cena and The Rock change the game forever, says Cena.

– Next presenters, Santino and the Bella Twins for the OMG moment of the year – nominees – HHH tombstones The Undertaker, Rock bottom on Cena, Superstars walks out on Triple H, and Punk takes the WWE title and leaves

WINNER: Triple H

Triple H returns with a sledgehammer and spitting water. Hunter heads to the ring seven weeks after being viciously attacked by Kevin Nash to cut a promo. Hunter said the true OMG moment of the year was when Undertaker was unable to leave the ring, and has since disappeared. We see the footage of Nash attacking Hunter on Raw. Hunter tells Nash he should have finished him off when he had the chance. Hunter said on Sunday, he’ll climb to the top of the ladder and use the sledgehammer on Nash. Hunter said on Sunday, Kevin Nash is done. Santino was to give Hunter his Slammy as he walked off, but walked away intimidated.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio who came out in a 1964 Rolls-Royce.

(3) Alberto Del Rio and The Miz vs. Randy Orton and WWE champion CM Punk. Charles Robinson is the referee. Minutes into the contest, we cause for a commercial break. Back in action, CM Punk is being worked over by Miz and Del Rio, preventing him from tagging in Orton. On the outside, Barrett yanked Orton off the ring. Skull crushing finale by Miz, and the heels win at 12:39.

After the match, Orton goes through the crowd looking for Barrett as the heels celebrated. Del Rio and Miz attack Punk with the chair. Del Rio jumped on the ladder with Punk under it. Del Rio arm locks through the ladder as Miz cuts a promo on him. The heels stand over a wounded Punk.

Punk votes for the WWE superstar of the year on his computer at ring side. He votes for The Miz.

– We see another Kane is returning video.

– We see another promo for the WWE Network.

* Next presenters, Goldust and Vickie Guerrero. A-Lister of the year – nominees – Hugh Jackman, The Muppets, Snooki, and Cee-Lo Green

WINNER: Snooki

Snooki thanked the fans via a pre-recorded message. He wished Zack Ryder luck to the chagrin of Vickie.

– Backstage, Josh Mathews interviewed World Heavyweight champion Mark Henry. Henry tells Big Show he hasn’t seen anything yet, and the title is staying with him. He said Cena disrespected him, and tonight he shouldn’t be worried about Wrestlemania, he should be worried about being inducted into the hall of pain.

(4) Jinder Mahal vs. Sheamus. Mahal said tonight he’ll put in a Slammy award performance, but Sheamus quickly kicks him knocking the mic out of his hand, so not match for these two tonight.

Last chance to vote for the superstar of the year.

* Presenter for WE Superstar of the year – Rey Mysterio Jr. Nominees – Randy Orton, The Miz, CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio, Mark Henry, and John Cena

WINNER: CM Punk

John Laurinaitis comes out, instead of Punk. He said Punk is currently in no condition to accept the award, and accepts it on his behalf.

(5) Non-title match: World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry vs. John Cena. After the ring introductions, and twenty five seconds into the contest, we take our final commercial break of the evening. Thank heavens! Back from the break, Cole said its been all Henry. Cena recovers for the five knuckle shuffle, but Henry counts with a slam, but could only get a two count. Big bear hug applied by the world champ on Cena, but he was able to maneuver out of it. World’s strongest slam by Henry, but the power goes out, and Kane returns wearing a helmet. He chokeslams Cena, does his arm gestures, and the fire goes off. He pulls off the helmet, and he is wearing a new mask, as the show ends.





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50 Responses

  1. RJ Ace says:

    If anyone still thought the Slammy’s were legitimate awards, WWE just gave the orange faced rat gremlin the A-Lister of the Year Award.

  2. RJ Ace says:

    Yeah Rey, the Superstar of the Year Slammmy Award is the biggest honor a WWE superstar can receive. Bigger than the main event at Wrestlemania, the WWE/World Championship, or even the Hall of Fame.

  3. -J- says:

    never eeeeeeever be the same again junior.

  4. Beast says:

    2012control = Stephanie, Shane, Linda or Vince. Return of the TV-14?

    Weeks before people were saying Undertaker or Chris Jericho. Now with this new promo things CHANGED. It involves a woman and a man. Taker and Jericho are out of the picture for me.

  5. Wwevstna says:

    So they gave it to your gf rj? Lol pipe bomb

  6. The XFL says:

    Zach Henry…. That is all.

  7. RJ Ace says:

    @WWEvsTNA – I don’t feel like debating tonight but I will give you credit on that one. It was pretty good. Just so I know where you stand, do you find the walking STD Snooki attractive like the Bella’s?

  8. Beast says:

    OMFG!!! KANE!!!!! YESS!!!!!!! HE SAVED THIS 3 HOUR OF CRAP SHOW!

  9. -J- says:

    welp kane just told me to stfu…wig and all, nice ending.

  10. King b says:

    KANE!!!!

  11. aag44 says:

    Nice to have you back, Kane. I’ll gave to get used to that new mask, though…

  12. Alex says:

    Love the mask! Music mixes new with old too! Looks like he blows a kiss at the camera at the end.

  13. The XFL says:

    OH MY GOD KING, THATS GOTTA BE…. THATS GOTTA BE, IRON MAN!

  14. redhood says:

    wasnt that undertaker in a kane mask

  15. J.J. says:

    At an angle, Kane looked like the Undertaker when the mask came off!

  16. Cody T. says:

    Kane, back in a masked, waited 8 years to mark out and its about damn time.

  17. dc guy says:

    Not undertaker he has tats kane dont

  18. RJ Ace says:

    Who thought going into tonight’s Raw that Kane would get the biggest pop of the night? They kind of foreshadowed that he’d go after Cena in that last vignette. Great return and big improvement on the stale look he had been sporting the last several years. I never thought I’d be interested in the Kane character again but I was proven wrong tonight.

  19. N. Gaijin says:

    @J.J.
    I know right? I was actually confused for a moment, it looks like Glenn has lost some weight. That’s a good thing too, it would’ve been pretty lame if he just came back in a different attire and mask.

    I have to say I’m not really pleased about the prospect of the 2012 vignettes being the McMahons. I don’t think anyone is getting excited about the idea of Vince returning, and if it’s Shane, well, I’m not sure if these are the right kind of promos for him or Steph. Who knows, maybe it’ll work. Any excuse to replace Laryngitis with someone with an ounce of charisma.

  20. Drew says:

    Very lame edition of Monday Night RAW. Not even Kane could save this travesty of a show. The only good thing about this show was Michael Cole, as always.

  21. James says:

    I actually fell asleep during the raw. Woke up to see masked Kane in the ring and thought I was dreaming.

    The parts I did hear though, were just boring, and as usual Michael Cole was obnoxious and needs to have his own separate mute button for the show.

  22. Beast says:

    @Drew haha I love your sarcasm. This SLAMMY sucked. the Ross/Cole segment was a big waste of time, VERY bad, embarrassing, pointless and they both suck. The ONLY think good was CM Punk winning SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR. THE BEST PART OF THIS 3 HOUR CRAP WAS THE RETURN OF KANE!!!

  23. T says:

    Snooki an “A” lister? bahahaha!!

    And how much wrestling was on in the 3 hours? 20 minutes?

    Good to see retro Kane back but not even he could save this train wreck of a show. :(

  24. jack says:

    I originally thought Kane would make his return as the surprise entrant in the Royal rumble. Now I’m thinking that entrant might be The Undertaker. Triple H’s comments about Taker last night sounded the the beginning of what will be a rematch at WM.

  25. 5 says:

    i thought it was good. jr was priceless and kane returns. i think that promo might be karma i hope it aint the McMahon

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