WWE Monday Night Raw Results – 3/14/11
We see Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson talking on the phone. He says John Cena’s “knockout punch” last week was bad and not funny. Cena’s music hits. In walks a little kid dressed like Cena rapping. Rock stands up and wants to teach “little Cena” a lesson. He said Cena took the ball and ran with it when he left WWE. Rock adds that Cena appeals the most to the 2-5 year old demographic. He asks little Cena what it all means. Little Cena said he isn’t very talented. Rock asks little Cena how he feels. “IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW YOU FEEL”, says Rock. Little Cena starts crying. Rock said everyone saw his movies, but they didn’t cry the way he is now. He offers up a Cena t-shirt to blow Little Cena’s nose. Rock gets Little Cena to smile and says he has a surprise – a box of Fruity Pebbles. Little Cena smiles and asks if he can eat them now. Rock said he can and to take his “no talented fruit loop behind” away. Rock then addresses WWE Champion The Miz. The Rock introduces himself to Miz. We are getting the scary background music during this. Rock said Miz made it clear he wants the “single biggest ass whoopin’ of a life time” by mentioning him last week. He promises to “bring it live” before Wrestlemania on Monday Night Raw. Rock tells Cena to shut his mouth whether he shows up live or live via satellite. “If ya smelllll, what The Rock…is…cookin’!”
Backstage, we see Trish Stratus with Snooki of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” fame.
At ringside, we see Michael Cole inside a glass box/structure in what he calls the “Cole Mine” to protect himeslf from Jerry “The King” Lawler. Lawler and Josh Mathews are nearby at the Raw announce table.
WWE Champion The Miz is making his way to the ring. The Miz says Rock’s t-shirt does bring it…hasbeen catchphrases, comedy and awful movies. He says that while Rock’s grandfather and father were good, they were never WWE Champion. Miz says that makes him better than them and he can say whatever he wants. He says Rock likes to make 6 year olds cry, but if Rock steps into the ring with him he will make him cry and scream like a little girl. Miz said unlike Rock talking about beating up Cena, he has actually done it – 3 weeks in a row to be exact. He said Rock doesn’t own Cena…he does. Miz said week after week Rock promises to “bring it.” He said he hopes and prays Rock does and maybe even in St. Louis tonight. Miz said if Rock “brings it”, let it be known that he will be overshadowed by the most seen WWE Champion in company history. “Because I’m The Miz…and I’mmmmmmm…awesomeeeeeeeeeeee.”
The Raw GM has something to say. Michael Cole exits his glass booth. As he gets near the Raw GM podium, Jerry Lawler stands up and blocks him. Lawler tells Cole to return to his cage. The Raw GM has arranged two “first ever” matches for Miz and Cena tonight. Cena will face a man he has never been in the ring with before tonight – the #1 contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, Alberto Del Rio. Miz asks Lawler who the Raw GM has for him since he has faced everyone. The Raw GM begs to differ. Out walks Miz’s opponent…The Great Khali.
WWE Champion The Miz vs. The Great Khali
Khali with big offense early on including a big chop to the chest of Miz. Khali with a chop to the head. Khali with his head vice. Miz gets to the ropes to break it up. Alex Riley hits the ring attacking Khali. The referee calls for the bell.
Winner via DQ: The Great Khali
After the match, Khali hits Riley with a chop to the head. Miz then grabs a steel chair and starts cracking it over the legs and back of Khali bringing him down to the mat. Miz with repeated chair shots to the back of Khali. Miz then gives Khali a DDT over the chair. Miz holds the chair up and exits the ring. We can see some blood pouring out of the back of Khali. They actually zoom in on Khali’s back.
At ringside, Cole said he promises to “expose” Jerry Lawler tonight with a special guest.
Later tonight: Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan.
We are reminded that John Cena has passed 5,000,000 fans on Facebook.
Mathews and Lawler plug The Undertaker vs. Triple H in a No Holds Barred match at Wrestlemania 27. A video package plays focusing on Triple H’s “darkside” featuring highlights from his career.
Backstage, John Morrison is talking to Snooki saying he heard she can take a punch better than most of the guys on the WWE roster. Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero walk up. Vickie tells Snooki to stay away from her Dolphy. She adds it’s no big deal that Snooki is on the cover of Rolling Stone since she was offered the cover of Playboy. Snooki says it must have been a centerfold since you can’t fit all of Vickie on one page. Vickie goes to slap Snooki, but Snooki blocks it and slaps Vickie instead. Morrison laughs and pulls Snooki away. Vickie screams in frustration as Dolph consoles her.
Sheamus is on the cover of the latest “Muscle and Fitness” magazine.
WWE United States Championship
If Sheamus loses, he promises to quit
Daniel Bryan (c) w/ Gail Kim vs. Sheamus
Justin Roberts announced the stipulation stated by Sheamus last week. Sheamus told Justin to be quiet. Mathews says it looks like Sheamus is doing a little back pedaling. Sheamus with a few right hands and elbows to Bryan. Mathews and Cole discuss the “King of the Ring curse” where past winners have experienced problems. Sheamus is tossed out through the ropes and Bryan connects with a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Bryan with a big missile dropkick for a two count.
Back live, Sheamus has Bryan in a chinlock. During the break, we see Sheamus took out Bryan with a big spinning backbreaker along with a powerful clothesline. Sheamus with a big shoulder block that levels Bryan. Sheamus with big forearms to the chest of Bryan. Bryan with a kick to the face of Sheamus. Bryan tosses Sheamus over the top rope and Sheamus favor his ankle. Mathews brings up the same thing happened last week when Sheamus lost by countout. Sheamus rolls back in with the referee reaching 5 on the count. Sheamus misses a big boot and Bryan gets the LeBelle Lock applied. Sheamus reaches and gets the bottom rope to break it up. Sheamus tosses Bryan into the corner, gets him up on his shoulder, but Bryan counters into a close pinfall. Bryan and Sheamus exchanging right hands. Bryan with forearms and kicks to the body/chest of Sheamus. Bryan ends it with a big kick to the head, cover and Sheamus gets a shoulder up. Bryan is up top, jumps and Sheamus catches him with a big boot in mid-air. Sheamus hooks the leg and gets the win.
Winner and new WWE United States Champion: Sheamus
After the match, Michael Cole adds that the curse is broken. Sheamus holds up the WWE United States Championship in celebration. Jerry Lawler calls it the luck of the irish.
At ringside, Michael Cole says he will reveal his “special guest” that will expose Jerry Lawler next.
Promo for “The Chaperone” airs.
Video from last week is shown of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin signing the contract to make himself the special guest referee between Michael Cole vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler.
Back live, Michael Cole has a mic and says Stone Cold will have a minimal effect at Wrestlemania when he beats Jerry Lawler. He said he knows how defensive Lawler gets when anyone talks about his family – living or dead. Cole said he has no plans to talk about Lawler’s family tonight because his family is going to take about Jerry. He introduces Jerry’s son, Brian Christopher aka “Grand Master Sexay.”
Brian Christopher comes out dancing. Cole dances as well in the ring. Lots of white guy dancing. Cole brings up that Brian has never used the name “Brian Lawler.” Brian said all of his life, he never felt like he had a father. He said while his father was off traveling the world being The King, he ignored his son. Brian said Jerry never wanted a child or anyone to get in his spotlight. He said when he made it on his own to the WWE, he wouldn’t even acknowledge to anyone that he was his son. Jerry takes the mic and said he isn’t the only one glad he didn’t use the “Lawler” name. He calls Brian a bigger screw up than Charlie Sheen. Jerry said the fact he would associate himself with a “jackass” like Michael Cole shows everyone what kind of a person he is. Brian asks his father what he thinks about the fact that he performed at Wrestlemania with Too Cool before he ever did. He adds, “How did that make you feel…daddy!?” Brian shoves his father telling him to answer him. He knocks Jerry’s headset off. Brian says it looks like he is just going to sit there and slaps his father. He said the reason he never used his name was because he is ashamed of him.
Cole adds, “Just what I thought Lawler – you don’t care about your family. You are nothing but a coward. You are pathetic. You are a loser. At Wrestlemania, I will put you in your place.” Jim Ross’ music hits. JR walks down the ramp and gets in the ring. Cole said he was just waiting for the moment when JR was going to show up to steal the spotlight. “I guess it’s a slow day in the BBQ business or on Twitter,” adds Cole. JR said enough is enough to Cole. He tells Cole this has gone far enough. Cole tells JR to go away and says this is his show now. “I’m the voice of the WWE, Michael Cole is the voice of WWE, NOT Jim Ross,” adds Cole. JR said he has been meaning to talk to him about that. He said he has the honor to sit next to Jerry Lawler for many years on Monday Night Raw and he was lucky enough to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. JR said he found out that no one will ever be the “voice of WWE” because the voices are in the arena tonight in St. Louis and watching around the world. He said Lawler has been carrying Cole for years now. JR calls Cole a “rat bastard.” Cole says JR will now leave with his tale tucked between his legs the way everyone expected. Just as JR goes to leave, he gets back in the ring and remove his cowboy hat. JR removes his tie and Cole takes off his jacket and tie as well. Crowd starts a loud “JR” chant. Jack Swagger is then seen attacking Lawler at ringside. Swagger gets in the ring and Cole yells at him to teach JR some respect. JR tells Cole to shutup. Swagger kicks JR and then applies an ankle lock. Lawler hits the ring and nails Swagger with a big right hand. Cole jumps on Lawler’s back. Swagger then decks Lawler and puts an ankle lock on him. Cole then applies an ankle lock on JR who screams out in pain. Cole yells down at both Lawler and JR that this is his time now.
Up next: Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan.
Promo: Edge and Christian reunite this Friday on Smackdown to challenge for the WWE Tag Team Championships.
Video is shown from last week of Randy Orton punting David Otunga.
Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan w/ CM Punk
Big reaction for Orton in his hometown. Cole reminds us that if Orton beats Ryan tonight then Punk must face Orton alone at Wrestlemania 27. Lock up, Ryan pushes Orton to the corner and Orton fires back with right hands and uppercuts. Orton with a quick clothesline, but Ryan stays on his feet. Ryan with a big backbreaker. Ryan lifts up Orton and gives him two more backbreakers over his knee. Orton fires back with a clothesline, but Ryan quickly responds with a big side effect slam. Ryan slowly picks up Orton, looks at the Wrestlemania sign and Orton flips around, jumps and connects with the RKO. Orton gets the pinfall over Ryan.
Winner: Randy Orton
After the match, Mathews talks about how impressive Orton was in taking out all members of the new Nexus to get Punk alone at Wrestlemania. CM Punk can’t believe it as he stands at the top of the ramp. Orton leaves the ring and stares down Punk. Orton then turns to look at Ryan in the ring. Punk tells Orton to come here. Punk goes running after Orton who slides back into the ring and punts Ryan in the head. When Punk reaches the ring on his knees, Ortno slides down in front of him and they have a stare down face to face.
We see video from earlier tonight of Snooki slapping Vickie Guerrero.
A promo for “The True Story of Wrestlemania” DVD airs.
Video airs regarding Drew Carey being inducted into the 2011 WWE Hall of Fame this year.
Michael Cole grabs the mic and reminds them about his “Cole Mine” glass box. He says everyone in St. Louis was lucky to witness the debut of his ankle lock tonight and that he plans to make Jerry Lawler tap out to it at Wrestlemania.
Still to come tonight: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio.
Backstage, we see Trish Stratus and Snooki heading to the arena. Zack Ryder walks up and asks her what she thinks about his abs. Snooki approves.
Back live, Justin Roberts introduces Snooki. Snooki says she was waiting for this moment all week long, but she can’t wait for Trish Stratus to shut Vickie Guerrero’s big fat mouth up tonight.
Vickie Guerrero is on her way out to the ring. “EXCUSE ME!” Vickie says tonight she will not only beat the legendary Trish Stratus, but will be hired on Monday Night Raw. She tells Snooki to never lay her hands on her ever again. Vickie said Snooki stole the cover of Rolling Stone from her. She shows off the original cover featuring her.
Vickie Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus
If Vickie wins, she gets a contract with Raw
When the bell rings, Vickie says to hold on and starts warming up. Trish with a quick rollup and Vickie quickly kicks out. Trish pie faces Vickie to the mat. Trish pulls Vickie’s shoe off. Vickie bails and runs around the ring. She gets back in and picks up her shoe laughing loudly. Vickie throws the shoe at Trish and Trish dodges it. Trish pulls off Vickie’s other shoe and spanks her with it. Dolph Ziggler hits the ring to break it up. John Morrison hits the ring and tosses Ziggler out. Morrison with a twisting senton splash on Dolph. Laycool hit the ring and hold up Trish hitting her with a big boot. Vickie pins Trish and Laycool sit on top of Vickie to setup the pinfall.
Winner: Vickie Guerrero
After the match, Laycool take turns taking pictures with Vickie sitting over Trish Stratus. Laycool then starts mocking Snooki getting down on their knees and moving around. Michelle McCool gets in her face at ringside. McCool pushes her down into her seat. As McCool gets up on the ring apron, Snooki trips her up. Snooki then tackles Layla in the ring. Trish tackles McCool. Laycool and Vickie bail along with Dolph as Snooki, Trish and Morrison celebrate in the ring. Vickie gets on the mic saying this is her show and that this isn’t some boardwalk in Jersey. Vickie issues a challenge – Laycool and Dolph Ziggler vs. Trish Stratus, Snooki and John Morrison at Wrestlemania 27. Snooki accepts.
Up next: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio for the first time ever.
Another promo airs promoting the debut of Sin Cara.
A video airs of HBK talking about The Undertaker’s legend in WWE.
John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio w/ Brodus Clay
Del Rio with a quick headlock takedown. Cole just announced on commentary that he has it on “good authority” that The Rock is here tonight in St. Louis.
Back live (and we are 10 minutes into the overrun), Del Rio drops Cena with a quick dropkick. Mathews is questioning on commentary where Cole has it on authority that The Rock is here tonight. Cena with a big back suplex on Del Rio to counter out of a headlock. Double clothesline and both are down. Both are up and exchanging right hands. Cena with a series of shots and his twisting suplex. Cena with five knuckle shuffle on Del Rio. Cena has Del Rio up and Brodus Clay jumps in dropping Cena with a big right. The referee calls for the bell.
Winner via DQ: John Cena
After the match, Alberto Del Rio and Brodus Clay start attacking John Cena. The Rock’s music hits. Out walks The Rock..well so we think. The Miz is wearing a bald cap and dressed up like Rock. Miz-Rock hits the ring and gives Cena a Rock Bottom. Del Rio with a kick to the head on Cena. Brodus Clay dumps Cena to the outside. Miz-Rock celebrates up on the corner. Miz pulls off the bald cap and sends Cena back first into the steel ring post. Miz grabs the mic and asks Cena how his road to Wrestlemania is going. Miz decks Cena with the mic. “Cena, I’ve owned you the last 3 weeks. I will own you for the next 3 all the way to Wrestlemania,” says Miz. Miz decks Cena a second time using the mic. Miz then gives Cena a suplex over the entrance ramp. Cena attempts a comeback, but Miz cuts him off and gives him a DDT at the top of the steel stage. Miz then picks up Cena and tosses him into the giant WWE logo on the stage. Miz finishes off Cena giving him a Skull Crushing Finale onto the bottom of structure holding up the giant WWE logo.