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8/5 TNA Impact Recap (There’s No Place Like Home)



A video recap of last week’s actions with EV2.0 kicks of this week’s Impact, which includes Raven attacking Tommy Dreamer with a chair.  The Impact intro then hits as we are welcomed to this weeks broadcast that will feature a tag team match with Abyss & Raven taking on Tommy Dreamer & RVD.  Taz also promises that there will be a couple of surprises as he saw some familiar faces backstage earlier in the day.

Tommy Dreamer then comes out to the ring and calls out Raven to explain himself.  Raven comes out and Dreamer says he thought they patched things up between them but Raven says he will never forgive Dreamer for stealing his girl and Dreamer’s daughters should be calling him daddy.  Dreamer then walks up the ramp towards Raven and knocks him down but Abyss and RVD come out as a fight breaks out on the ramp.

RVD assaults Abyss with a chair and chases him towards the back as Raven drops Dreamer on the ramp with the Raven Effect.  As Raven does his signature pose, Mick Foley comes out and hits Raven with a barbed wire bat.  Foley then says that at Hardcore Justice, there will be a final showdown between Dreamer and Raven and Foley will be the special referee.

The announce team then run down tonight’s show that will feature an Ultimate X match between the Motorcity Machine Guns and Beer Money.  Ric Flair will also face off against Jay Lethal in a street fight.  They then hype the main event once more as they are interrupted by the music of the Beautiful People as our first match of the night is up next.

Match 1: The Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde & Hamada (TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship)
Taylor and Hamada both get a chance to work over Lacey, who lumbers around awkwardly before finally tagging in Velvet Sky.  Velvet is able to pick up a near fall on Hamada before tagging Lacey back in the match who comes in and misses with a couple of elbow drops and Hamada tags in Taylor as this match begins to break down.

Madison Rayne is seen standing in the entrance ramp and the mysterious motorcycle woman appears in the ringside area.  Velvet inadvertently slaps Slick Johnson, which takes him down for a very long time, and the motorcycle woman hands Lacey a chair which Taylor kicks into her face.  Johnson then makes the three count and we have new TNA Knockouts Champions.

After a commercial break we head right into another title match.

Match 2: Rob Terry vs. AJ Styles (TNA Television Championship)
Kazarian comes down to the ring with AJ Styles but Earl Hebner sends Kazarian to the back, but he doesn’t want to go.  Terry clotheslines them both out to the floor and Terry chases Kazarian to the back as we get this match started.  Terry begins to power Styles around the ring as Mike Tenay and Taz talk about Television Titles in the past.  Styles tries to mount some offense but it is blocked by Terry.  Styles finally turns things into his favor with a mule kick below the belt and follows with a 450 splash to pick up the pin fall.

Kazarian then runs down and celebrates the victory with Styles and they quickly run out of the ring as Terry begins to recover and argues with the referee about the finish of the match.

A video package highlighting Kurt Angle’s decision to fight his way through Top 10 contenders list and wants to prove to everyone that he is the best wrestler in the world, even at 41.  Angle says he is not ready to leave wrestling and doesn’t plan on losing any time soon.

The docu-cam is with Jay Lethal who says he cannot believe that he beat Ric Flair with his own move.  Lethal says he talked to Angle who said Lethal needs step up and be a man, and Lethal plans to do just that during his street fight against Ric Flair.

We see Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne fighting in the back and Lacey Von Erich gets in the middle of it and is knocked out.  Security finally separates them as Velvet is blaming Madison for costing them their tag team titles.  Velvet then tends to Lacey and calls out for help.

The Ultimate X match is up next but before the match starts, Robert Roode has a few words to share.  Roode says both teams have upped their game and taken the tag team division to new levels.  Roode says he and Storm plan on becoming the best tag team ever and will do that once they defeat the Machine Guns at their own game and become the 4-time TNA Tag Team Champions.

Chris Sabin offers a rebuttal and say that they are the best tag team in the world and the titles around their waists prove it.  Sabin continues by saying there are wrestling in their match and in their world.  Roode then say he has had enough talking and wants to get the match on, which will come up next after a commercial break.

Match 3: Beer Money vs. the Motorcity Machine Guns (Best of Five – Ultimate X)
We return from the break to hear the bell sound to get this match underway.  The Guns go straight for the X but Beer Money quickly cuts them off.  The Guns then send Beer Money out to the floor and hit a double cross body block from the top rope and out to the floor to get the quick advantage.  Sabin is the first one on the cable but ends up being pulled down by Storm.  The Guns take Beer Money down and Shelley locks them both in submission holds as Sabin again climbs the cables but Beer Money fights out and pull Sabin down.

Beer Money then takes over control of the match and Roode begins to slowly climb up towards the cable and the Guns are able to put their momentum to a halt as Shelley sets them up in the corner and Sabin hits his patented hesitation dropkick.  Shelley begins climbing the cable but Beer Money recovers and takes down the Guns.  Beer Money then takes some time to showboat a bit before continuing to ground the Machine Guns.  Roode then begins making his way across the cables but Shelley fights off Storm and pulls Roode down to the canvas.

Shelley begins working alone for his team and takes out both Roode and Storm and tries again for the X but Storm pulls him down and slams him down to the mat.  Sabin finally makes it back into the ring and tries for the X but crawls back to the corner and sends Storm crashing down to the canvas with a hurricanrana.  Roode recovers and hits Sabin with a spinebuster and Roode and Storm work together and go for the X but the Guns get up and knock them both down.

Shelley then takes Storm out with Sliced Bread #2 on the ring apron and they are both out of play.  Roode then climbs up the steel structure and begins walking across the cable as Sabin begins climbing across the cable on the other side.  Sabin is able to kick Roode off the cable as he crotches himself on the way down.  Sabin the pulls down the X to win the match and even the Best of Five series at two wins a piece.

We then see Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan and Ms. Tessmacher making their way towards the ring as we head into a commercial break.

Hulk Hogan’s music then hits as the group comes down to the ring.  Eric Bischoff says he wants to get right down to business and hypes next week’s Impact, which will feature PPV quality matches on SpikeTV.  Bischoff announces that Abyss will face RVD for the TNA World Championship in a stairway to Janice match and Bischoff himself will be the special guest referee.

Bischoff then continues by saying the fifth and final match between the Motorcity Machine Guns and Beer Money will take place, as well as Kurt Angle against AJ Styles, Madison Rayne against Angelina Love for the TNA Knockouts Championship, and Jeff Hardy has issued an open invite to anyone in the wrestling world.  Finally, a three way match between Mr. Anderson, Matt Morgan and D’Angelo Dinero.

Bischoff is then cut off by Kevin Nash’s music as he comes down to the ring and wants to know why his name isn’t on the card at all.  Hogan says he needs to open his eyes and step back just like he and Jeff Jarrett have done.  Hogan says it is time for the new stars to get the spotlight and take TNA into the next decade.  Hogan says the politics that Nash used to use are over, which Nash takes offense to.  Nash then goes at both of them as he tosses Bischoff down and hits Hogan with a mule kick.

Nash then goes for a steel chair and is about to use it on Hogan but Jarrett comes out and stops Nash from doing it.  As Jarrett is beating on Nash in the corner, Sting comes out with his old WolfPac face paint and nails Jarrett with a couple of shots with a baseball bat.  Sting then nails Hogan with a steel chair as we head into a commercial break.

After the commercial we see Christy trying to get a word with Kevin Nash and Sting about what just went down but they both just walk away.

Match 4: Orlando Jordan vs. D’Angelo Dinero
OJ tries to gross out the Pope by sucking on his own finger and Dinero pushes him down and tells him to just wrestle.  Dinero gets him in a waistlock and OJ begins to rub up against him and Dinero pushes him away.  OJ finally goes on the offensive and takes control of the match as Eric Young runs down the ramp and begins to pocket the money that dropped during the Pope’s entrance.  This distracts OJ as Dinero takes him down and hits the DDE and picks up the pin fall for the victory.

The Pope’s victory celebration is cut short as he is attacked by Matt Morgan from behind.  Mr. Anderson then comes down to the ring with a steel chair in his hand and chases him away.  Anderson and Dinero then get into an argument as they are separated by Gunner and Murphy of TNA security.  Dinero heads to the back as Anderson stares down both security guards.

Ric Flair is with Christy who says if any member of Fortune interferes in tonight’s street fight that Flair will be suspended for 30 days without pay.  Flair says that two men will walk the aisle and only one person will walk back.  Flair promises to show Lethal that he is a wrestling god and promises that Lethal will die tonight.

Match 5: Jay Lethal vs. Ric Flair (Street Fight)
Ric Flair comes down to the ring for this street fight in a custom made suit, while Lethal is wrestling in a tank top and blue jeans.  The bell rings and Flair quickly tears Lethal’s shirt off and hits Lethal with a low blow.  Flair then brings some weapons into the ring as Lethal sneaks under the ring and comes out the other side.  Lethal then hits Flair with a missile dropkick and follows with a huge back body drop.

Lethal then connects with a shot from a kendo stick that cuts Flair’s forehead open.  Douglas Williams is then seen walking around the ringside area as Lethal is ripping Flair’s pants off.  Lethal then pulls Flair’s belt off and begins whipping Flair with it before stripping Flair down to his underwear.  Lethal then hits a very bloody Flair with a superplex and goes for the cover, but Williams drags Lethal out to the floor.

Lethal then knocks Williams down to the floor and Lethal goes for the top rope and tries for a sunset flip and ends up pulling Flair’s underwear down.  As Hebner tries to finally pull up Flair’s underwear, Williams nails Lethal with the X Division Championship.  Flair then covers Lethal and Lethal puts his foot on the rope but Williams knocks it off and the referee doesn’t see it and Flair picks up the pin fall.

Abyss is then seen walking in the back with Raven and they both have weapons in their hands as they are heading towards the ring.

Christy is with RVD who talks about his upcoming week with his match tonight, Sunday and next week on Impact.  RVD says he takes everything one night at a time and he is focusing on his tag with Tommy Dreamer to take on Raven and Abyss.  After he wins tonight’s match he will focus on Hardcore Justice.  Just then Jerry Lynn walks in the picture and says he is focused on Sunday night as they will tear it up one more time before walking away.  Both RVD and Christy have surprised looks on their faces as they can’t believe Lynn is going to go up against RVD on Sunday.

Match 6: Abyss & Raven vs. Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer
A fight between these two teams starts on the entrance ramp before the bell rings.  Abyss finally tosses Dreamer over the ropes to get this match officially started.  Abyss and Raven work together to wear down Dreamer and they pick up a couple of near falls in the process.  Abyss finally messes up in his attack and Dreamer makes the hot tag to RVD as Abyss tags in Raven.

RVD hits Raven with a flurry of offense and goes for the pin after hitting Rolling Thunder but Abyss breaks up the pin attempt.  Dreamer then helps RVD knock Abyss out to the floor and plants Raven down with a DDT.  RVD then heads to the top rope and hits a Five Star Frog Splash on Raven to pick up the pin fall.

Dreamer and RVD’s celebration is cut short as Abyss hits them from behind and Abyss drives RVD down to the mat with a chokeslam.  Abyss then picks up Dreamer for the same but Stevie Richards comes out and tries to stop him but Abyss quickly takes him down.  Rhino then comes in and takes Abyss down and tries for a Gore but Abyss takes him down with a quick kick to the head.

Team 3D finally run out and knock Abyss down and set up for the 3D but Raven takes them both out with chair shots.  The lights then go out in the Impact Zone and when they come back on the Sandman is seen standing in the ring with a kendo stick and takes Abyss and Raven out.  The EV2.0 guys then regroup in the ring as Mick Foley, Jerry Lynn, Al Snow and Simon Diamond make their way to the ring.

A video package highlighting Hardcore Justice is aired as the ECW originals give their thoughts on legacy of ECW and what it means to them.  Many of them talk about being given one more chance to go out on their own terms.

One last video package hypes all of the matches for next week’s âہ“Whole F’n Show” and it says that it will showcase what TNA does best as this week’s episode of Impact comes to a close.

Quick Results
- Taylor Wilde & Hamada defeated the Beautiful People by pin fall to win the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship.
- AJ Styles defeated Rob Terry by pin fall to retain the TNA Television Championship.
- The Motorcity Machine Guns defeated Beer Money in an Ultimate X match.
- D’Angelo Dinero defeated Orlando Jordan by pin fall.
- Ric Flair defeated Jay Lethal by pin fall in a street fight.
- Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer defeated Abyss & Raven by pin fall.

Starman’s Thoughts
A few matches were booked for this Sunday’s Hardcore Justice, such as the main event of RVD against Jerry Lynn and Tommy Dreamer taking on Raven, but for the most part the whole card is unknown.  I’m not sure if this is a good move on TNA’s part, especially since the event is just three days away, but I’m guessing that TNA is banking on the names selling the event itself.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that a special one-off pay-per-view such as this didn’t overtake everything that TNA was working towards, but at least give the fans something more to look forward to this Sunday.  I hope that the matches will be revealed over the course of the weekend, but the matches will be meaningless for the most part as there is no substance to them aside from the whole event being one last reunion of sorts.

With that said, it was cool to see Jerry Lynn and the Sandman again.  I have to admit that I am a huge Sandman mark, ever since he downed an entire rum and coke drink that I gave him at an indy show several years ago.  He has had many problems in the past, but I am hoping that he has gotten his life back on track as he didn’t look to be too bad off in the ring tonight.

That’s enough reminiscing.  Time to move on.

Once again the Best of Five series stole the show in my opinion, but one thing really bothered me overall about tonight’s broadcast.  During his time in the ring, Hulk Hogan said that he and Jeff Jarrett have stepped back and are letting the new stars have their time in the spotlight.  This was then followed by a brawl between Hogan, Jarrett, Kevin Nash and Sting.  It was then followed by a street fight that featured Ric Flair and capped off by a bunch of ECW stars in the ring to end the show.

So much for stepping back and letting the young talent shine.

I would love to hear your thoughts on tonight’s show.  Feel free to email them to me at starman@inlinefusion.com or post comments on my website, www.thehexagoncircle.com.

The Starman

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One Response

  1. Alex Peredo says:

    WOW. That was one of the worst “title” matches you’ll ever see. The TNA Knockout Tag Title Match was atrocious. There is more coordination in The Great Khali vs. an opponent than there was between Hamada & Lacey Von Erich. From Lacey no selling chops by Hamada, to Hamada just standing for long seconds waiting for Lacey to get up, to the both of them grabbing/turning each other trying to figure what to do. Then Lacey is given a chair to strike Wilde but she just dithers until Wilde finally dropkicks the chair onto her face. Then the referee counts to 3 with a chair right in front of him!!! Seriously, seeing this match will make you feel as if you stepped on dog crap.

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