May 23, 2010 - by Steve Gerweck
The D-X band is playing the “alternative version” of America the Beautiful and the National Anthem. It’s awful and the crowd is booing loudly. This is disgraceful.
Broadcast team is Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler.
Match #1: 15 TEAM BATTLE ROYAL
Kama & Faarooq are one of the battle royal teams. 14 teams are now introduced. The last team is The Legion of Doom, accompanied by their new manager SUNNY! Wow, they have a majorly different look! They have helmets, different shoulderpads, new music, new haircuts and new facepaint. And Sunny, well I think she raided Xena’s locker room. Bell rings and there is chaos. I’ll give what play-by-play I can. Pierre working on Gibson. Savio Vega was eliminated, sending him and Miguel out. Blackman and Flash Funk, Bradhsaw and Chainz, are teams. Kurrgan came out and eliminated Sniper and Recon. Windham came in and worked over Chainz, eliminating him and Bradshaw. D-Lo was eliminated as was Jacques, sending out D-Lo & Mark Henry, and the Quebecers. Brian Christopher and Scott Taylor are partners. Ricky Morton eliminated by Henry Godwinn. Kama and Faarooq, Jesus & Jose are gone. Godwinns pummel Hawk. Mark Henry with a big press slam on Christopher, even though he’s gone. New Midnights eliminate Headbangers. DOA, Midnights, Godwinns, LOD left. Scott Taylor is tossed out. HOG going after one of DOA. Slam by a DOA on Bob. Hawk clothesline on HOG. Bad leaping shoulder by Hawk on HOG. Chop on Bob. DOA are eliminated. Phineas is eliminated by DOA, even though they’re gone. LOD vs. New Midnights. Phineas and Henry hit the LOD with their buckets (AGAIN?) Double back elbow on Hawk. New Midnights can’t quite get Hawk out. He fights back. Animal cleans house on both MX. Powerslam on Bart by Animal. Big boot on Bob by Hawk. Hawk clotheslines Bob over to get the win in 8:19. ** Not bad, but way too short and the cameras missed most of the early eliminations. LOD may have a new look, but they still aren’t great wrestlers. At least now I can look at Sunny, though. Wow, what an outfit….
Kevin Kelly is with the Honky Tonk Man on the Superstar Line. WWF Superstar Line won the award for best sports and gaming hotline. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Gene Okerlund.
Footage of what has been happening in Boston this weekend.
Match #2: TAKA MICHINOKU vs. AGUILA (WWF Light Heavyweight Title Match)
Side headlock by TAKA, shot off and a shoulder. Nice armdrag by Aguila, then a spinning headscissors. Dropkick by Aguila sends TAKA to the floor. Baseball slide by Aguila. ASAI MOONSAULT FROM THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!! BEAUTIFUL!!! AMAZING HEIGHT! Aguila suplexes TAKA in. TAKA with a dropkick sends Aguila to the floor, then that amazing springboard plancha into the runway by TAKA. Running forearm in the corner by TAKA. Dropkick to the face on the apron by TAKA. Snap mare and then a series of dropkicks on the mat by TAKA. Hugo Savinovich is back on the Spanish broadcast team. Aguila with a backdrop sends TAKA to the floor. TAKA onto the top rope, but he gets caught with an armdrag from the top. Springboard armdrag by Aguila. Springboard somersault wristlock takedown by Aguila. Corkscrew somersault plancha over the top rope (cleared it on the fly) to the floor by Aguila. Nice move! TAKA missed a moonsault from the top, and Aguila hit one of his own for 2. Flying forearm by TAKA. Both men on the middle rope now, TAKA knocks Aguila to the canvas. He went for a splash but Aguila got the knees up. TAKA set on the top rope. Frankensteiner off the top rope by Aguila. Running kick in the corner by TAKA, then a flying dropkick. Michinoku Driver attempt by TAKA, countered into an attempted Frankensteiner, countered into a power bomb. Missed moonsault by TAKA. Majistral cradle by Aguila for 2. TAKA caught Aguila coming off the top rope with a dropkick to the midsection. Then he hits the Michinoku Driver for the pin in 5:58. *** Amazing high spots, but there was no selling at all in this match, and it was way too short. TAKA raises Aguila’s hand after the match.
Gennifer Flowers does an interview from earlier in the day with The Rock. “The term “leader” is really beneath the Rock. The Rock prefers the term ‘Ruler’.” -Rock. Hysterical answer to Flowers’ questions about how he would run the country. “As long as the Rock is the judge and the jury, everything should be fine…if the Rock was the jury, nine times out of ten it would be a hung jury, if you know what I mean.” -Rock. “If they did anything orally wrong – excuse me Genny – MORALLY wrong…” -Rock.
Match #3: “TRIPLE H” HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY w/ Chyna vs. “THE BLACK HART” OWEN
HART w/ Sgt. Slaughter (WWF European Title Match) D-X band plays the D-X song live. Someone shoot them. HHH has a new pyro display that goes off when he points at his crotch. Slaughter went to handcuff the cuffs on his wrist and dropped the key. Oops. “You think you can do it, get in here and make her do it.” -HHH. Chyna shoves Slaughter, then goes noes to nose with him. Slaughter cuffed her when she turned her back. Nice pop for Owen. He has the cast off his leg. He’s limping pretty noticeably. He charges and takes down HHH right away. Backdrop out of the corner by Owen. Leaping clothesline, then one in the corner by Owen. 10 rights in the corner by Owen. Frankensteiner by Owen! First I’ve seen him do that in a LONG time. 2-count. Back elbow by HHH. Kick to the ribs by HHH. CHyna went to hit Owen on the floor but Sarge wouldn’t let her go anywhere. HHH tried to jump on Owen from the apron but missed and hit the rail. Very lightly placed spinebuster and then a sharpshooter attempt by Owen. Owen set his head early for a backdrop and Helmsley drove his knee into Owen’s face. Clothesline by HHH. Bill Apter and George Napolitano standing right next to each other taking pictures. Series of kicks in the corner by HHH. Earl Hebner is in intensive care in the New England medical center. High knee by HHH. Vertical suplex by HHH. Kneedrop by HHH. HHH hits Owen to the buckle. Owen fights back with kicks, irish whip into the corner but he gets met with a boot coming in. DDT by Helmsley. 2-count only. Kick to the ankle by HHH. “If brains were chocolate, Owen’s wouldn’t fill an M&M!” -King. Stepover toehold by HHH. Owen escapes but HHH goes right back to the injured ankle. Another anklelock by HHH. HHH stomps on the ankle. Right hand to the head. Helmsley ties the leg up in the corner and kicks away at it. Owen is bleeding from the nose. Owen fights back with hard rights. I think that juice is hardway, by the way. Owen pulls HHH crotch-first into the post. “He got him right in the X!” -King. Missile dropkick by Owen for 2. Belly-to-belly by Owen for 2. Spinning heel kick by Owen for 2. Helmsley whipped upside down into the corner, and then an enzeguiri by Owen, but he hurt his ankle on it. Chyna tries to get into the ring but Slaughter holds her back. 2-count by Owen. Another attempted hurracanrana but a power bomb counter by HHH for 2. Owen set on the top rope, but he beats HHH down. He hits a flying bodypress for 2. Kick to the midsection, Pedigree attempt by HHH. Owen went for the Sharpshooter, but HHH kicked him off into the corner. Owen did a headfirst dive into HHH’s groin. 2-count. Kick to the head by HHH, then a Pedigree attempt into a sunset flip by Owen. Counter by HHH countered into the Sharpshooter! Chyna is able to get close enough to HHH to help him the final few inches to the ropes, so the ref forces the break. Owen hammers HHH with rights. Chyna threw powder into Slaughter’s face. Low blow by Chyna on Owen. Pedigree by HHH for the pin in 11:30. **1/2 Good solid match. Owen put forth an excellent effort for an injured wrestler. He used some moves I haven’t seen him use before. The end of the match was a bit too predictable, but that’s OK I guess. Now Chyna hauls off and nails Slaughter. Chyna throws him into the railing. “Slaughter must have said something dirty to her!” -King.
Ad for the Stone Cold University t-shirt.
Video package on what has led up to the mixed tag team match.
Match #4: THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS GOLDUST & LUNA vs. “MARVELOUS” MARC MERO & SABLE (Mixed Tag Team Match)
Mero & Goldust start. Mero with a flying headscissors and then a clothesline. Tag to Luna and one to Sable. Luna runs to the floor and Sable chases her around the ring. Tag made to GD, forcing Sable out. GD nails Mero with stiff rights. Backdrop on GD and a tag to Sable. Karate kick by Sable following a Mero irish whip. Luna says that Sable is crazy. Tag back to Mero. Mero peppers GD with fists. Kick to the face by GD then a lariat. GD clotheslines Mero on the top rope. Choke across the middle rope by GD, and Luna nails Mero. Mid-air collision of cross-bodies, and Mero lands on top for 2. Uppercut by GD. Mero and GD collide. Supposed to be a head-to-head crack, it seemed, but GD didn’t turn around in time. Tags to the ladies. CATFIGHT!!! Where’s Joey Styles when you need him? Sable with karate kicks to the ribs, then a beel out of the corner by the hair. Sable nailed Goldust. Clothesline over the top by Sable. Luna tags GD, and Sable nailed him in the face. Tag to Mero. Mero whips GD to the steps. Goldust spit at Sable, who distracted the referee allowing Mero to hit a low blow. TKO attempt by Mero, countered into a Goldust DDT for 2. GD whipped Mero into the buckle, and then almost hit the Curtain Call, but Mero countered and hit a running kneelift. Mero on the top rope and he hits a nice Merosault for 2. Back elbow by GD, who climbs to the top rope. Mero hits the ropes and GD groins himself on the top. Hurracanrana off the top by Mero for 2. Luna cheap shots Mero, who threatens to hit her. GD runs up from behind and accidentally runs into her. TKO by Mero, but Luna broke it up. Tag to Sable, who covers GD, but the ref is distracted. Luna comes off the top rope with a splash, but accidentally hits GD. POWER BOMB BY SABLE!!! 2-count only. Luna chokes Sable against the ropes. Shoulder in the corner by Luna. TKO BY SABLE! She gets the pin in 9:11. *** Much better match than I expected. Good stuff from everyone except Luna, really. Sable showed some ability. Mero acts like he’s the one who got the pin, and Sable just walks out. Mero calls her back in. Mero then raises Sable’s hand. They walk out together.
Tennessee Lee comes into the ring for some reason. Jarrett walks down with Gennifer Flowers. Pyro display from the ceiling for Double J. “Gennifer honey I’ve just got one question for you tonight at WrestleMania XIV. Ain’t I great?” -JJ. “Honey, I’ve been with great, and you are great!” -Flowers. She is the ring announcer for the next match.
Match #5: THE ROCK w/ Kama, D-Lo Brown & Mark Henry vs. “THE WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS MAN” KEN SHAMOCK (WWF Intercontinental Title Match)
Loud ovation for Shamrock. Shamrock sprints to the ring and goes after Rock. Flying kick by Shamrock and then a clothesline to the floor. Rock goes to walk away, but Shamrock follows him out. He bashes Rock to an equipment case, then to the rail. Rock catches Shamrock with a right hand, then tries to hit Shamrock to the steps. Shamrock blocks and hits Rock to them. Back in the ring. Whip into the corner by Rocky, but a clothesline by Shamrock. Kick to the chest by Shamrock floors Rocky. Shamrock bounces Rocky’s head off the canvas several times. Rocky throws Shamrock to the floor. Shamrock whipped shoulder-first into the steps. Back in the ring. Slam by Rocky. The People’s Elbow by Rocky. 2-count. Series of hard rights by Shamrock, and then he tosses Rocky over the top to the floor. Clothesline on the floor by Shamrock. Shamrock grabs a steel chair and brings it into the ring, and the ref tries to take it away. He shoves the ref down and Rocky gives a NASTY NASTY NASTY shot to Shamrock. 2-count only. Shamrock “Hulks up”. Back elbow by Shamrock. Flying kick by Shamrock. Powerslam by Shamrock for 2. Belly to belly by Shamrock, and there’s the Ankle Lock. Rocky taps out in 4:49! Shamrock takes out D-Lo, then Kama. He slaps the Ankle Lock on again, and then stares down Mark Henry. Belly to belly on Henry! Ankle Lock slapped on again, and down runs Faarooq. Rocky reaches out to Faarooq for help, and he stops on the apron. Faarooq walks away. Rocky is bleeding from the mouth. Finally Shamrock breaks the hold. They back Shamrock off, and he starts belly to bellying referees (who I think are all jobbers, because I have never seen them before.) Now the real refs come in. They stretcher out Maivia. **1/2 The match wasn’t all that good, but the postmatch stuff was good. The referee reverses his decision and The Rock retains the title. Shamrock hears it and charges down the aisle and upsets the guerney. He beats Maivia ontro the band stage. Slam on the stage. Then he kicks away at him. He throws him around, and knocks down a light stand. Shamrock grabs the title belt and throws it at Rocky. He storms away.
19,028 in attendance. $1,029,013 box office gross.
Match #6: CACTUS JACK & CHAINSAW CHARLIE vs. THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS (WWF Tag Team
Title Match, Dumpster Match) Funk is not wearing the Charlie outfit, so I will refer to him as Funk. He is wearing his Funk U t-shirt. “If this is for the weak at heart, please turn your head Terry Funk.” -Road Dog. Funk and Gunn on one side of the ring, Cactus and RD on the other. Cactus smashes RD to the dumpster. Gunn clothesline Funk on the top rope. Cactus opens up the dumpster. Baking pan to the head of Cactus by RD. Cactus went for the somersault off the apron against the dumpster on RD, but Gunn saw it and delivered a baseball slide to knock RD out of the way, and Cactus crashed into the dumpster. Gunn backdrops Funk into the dumpster. Irish whip into the dumpster by Gunn. Russian legsweep setup against the dumpster by RD. Funk escapes the dumpster. They slam the lids down on the heads of Cactus & Funk. I never knew plastic would hurt that much. Gunn rips off the Funk U shirt. Not a smart move… RD drops Funk into the dumpster again. Gunn’s nose is busted open. They get Cactus in, but he stops the lid from coming down. Mandible claw by Cactus on both Outlaws. Baking pan to the head of Cactus by Gunn, and then a cookie sheet by Funk to Gunn. Cookie sheet again, stiff shot by Funk to Gunn. Swinging neckbreaker by Cactus on RD. Hangman’s neckbreaker by Funk on RD. Cactus throws Gunn to the floor and then hits an elbow drop with the sheet to the floor on Gunn. Cactus tosses some stuff from under the ring inside. LADDER TIME! They set the ladder up. “ECW!” chant goes up. Gunn knocks Funk off the ladder, and then climbs up to the top with Cactus. FUNK KNOCKS INTO THE LADDER AND KNOCKS BOTH MEN OFF THE TOP INTO THE DUMPSTER! OH MY! RD hammers Funk to the apron. POWER BOMB OFF THE APRON INTO THE DUMPSTER ON FUNK BY GUNN!!! Cactus now fighting both Outlaws in the runway. They brawl into the backstage area. There is no camera back there yet, so they replay the ladder shot a few times. Backstage now. They knock several steel towers of trays into Cactus. Cactus thrown through the Powerade display. Cactus with a steel chair to the heads of both. Funk is back there and he lifts Gunn up with a forklift. Cactus puts Gunn on, and Funk drops them in another dumpster! Cactus closes the lid on the dumpster! In 10:05 we have new World Tag Team Champions!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! *** Wild brawl. Not quite long enough. Funk brings the lift part of the forklift down on the lid of the dumpster, trapping the Outlaws inside. Funk & Cactus vs. The LOD at IYH: Unforgiven. Interesting….
It’s only 8:40, and they only have two matches left. I guess the Austin- Michaels match is gonna go really long.
Video package on UT-Kane.
Howard Finkel introduces “undoubtedly a future Hall of Famer” Pete Rose. Mixed reaction for Rose, who will be the guest ring announcer for the match.
Match #7: KANE w/ Paul Bearer vs. THE UNDERTAKER
Lots of pyro goes off for Kane as he makes his way to the ring. “If I were Pete Rose I might consider heading for the dugout.” -Ross. Kane Tombstones Rose! The crowd loves it! Why did they do that, though? Now Kane’s the favorite for the match. Stretcher job for Rose. Blackout and an eruption from the crowd. Thunder, but no gong so far. A series of hooded figures come out carrying torches. I think the music was the same song used during the Starrcade promos. They line the aisleway and hold the torches aloft. Lightning bolt and then a gong hit. Here comes the Undertaker. Why do I fear that the entrances will be better than the match? Match begins with a staredown. Flash bulbs are going off like crazy. UT fires first with rights. Kane catches UT with a back elbow in the corner, and tosses him in. UT fires back with kicks and punches. UT greets Kane’s charge into the corner with a boot. Short clothesline by Kane but UT sits up. More hard rights by UT. Kane catches UT in a crossbody and hangs him upside down in the corner, then stomps him. Kane chokes UT in the corner. Hard right by Kane in the corner. Hard irish whip into the corner by Kane. Clothesline coming in. Kane sets UT for a suplex, and then drops him across the top rope. Forearm shots to the back. Springboard off the top rope with a forearm across the back by Kane. Kane tries to pummel UT in the corner, and UT tries to cover up. UT ran and jumped on Kane’s shoulders, but Kane dropped him face- first to the mat. To the floor now. Kane drops UT throat-first across the rail. UT hit to the steps. Kane pulls the steps apart, and drives them down into UT’s back. Kane hits UT with the steps again. Bearer kicks UT on the floor while Kane distracts the referee in the ring. Suplex from the outside in by Kane. Chop to the throat by Kane. UT starts to fight back with a clothesline out of the corner. Chokeslam by Kane. 2-count and Kane pulls him up. Side headlock by Kane. First resthold of the evening, really. UT escapes with lefts and rights to the midsection, but gets clotheslined down. Elbowdrop by Kane. Back to the side headlock. UT regains his feet, lifts Kane up and drops him on the top rope. Kane standing on the apron and UT kicks him off to the floor. UT went for a dive over the top rope, but missed Kane and drove himself through the Spanish broadcast table. Kane throws UT back into the ring. Kane climbs to the top. Clothesline from the top rope by Kane. 2-count. Kane hammers UT with lefts and rights. UT starts to fight back again with fists and kicks. Hard rights start to faze Kane. Tombstone attempt by UT, but Kane goes over the top and plants UT, but he kicks out at 2!!! Again Kane hammers UT in the corner. UT peppers Kane with fists. Clothesline floors Kane. Kick to the chest and then a chokeslam by UT. UT calls for the Tombstone and plants him. Kane kicks out at 2! Legdrop by UT. Kane sits up. Tombstone again by UT. 2-count only. Kane sits up again. UT climbs to the top rope. Clothesline off the top rope by UT. Kane sits up again. One more Tombstone by the Undertaker. UT hooks the leg and gets the pin in 16:59! Bearer runs into the ring and nails the referee. Bearer starts kicking UT. UT gets up and nails Bearer with a right. UT collapses to the mat after hitting him. Kane grabs a chair and nails UT. Kane drops the chair in the ring. Kane picks up UT and plants him with a Tombstone on the chair. *1/2 Bad match, with some excellent psychology and one or two nice spots. UT sits up and Kane’s music cuts off. His music starts up as he walks away from the ring.
New WWF Attitude commercial with Freddie Blassie, Gorilla Monsoon, Jose Lothario, Ernie Ladd and others, talking about the WWF.
Match #8: “STONE COLD” STEVE AUSTIN vs. “THE HEARTBREAK KID” SHAWN MICHAELS w/ Triple-H & Chyna (WWF World Heavyweight Title Match)
Tyson comes down to major boos and the rap version of the DX theme. EXPLOSION for Austin. Austin goes nose to nose with Tyson. Chorus of boos for Michaels. “Austin!” chant. Double-bird for HBK. Left hand jab by Michaels, and the two back off to seperate corners. Another left by HBK. Austin chases HBK to the floor, and back in. Clothesline by Austin, and then he smashes him to the buckles. Michaels tries to get away and Austin keeps him in courtesy of his tights. Austin backdrops Michaels to the floor on top of HHH. HHH nails Austin from behind. HHH whips Austin to the rail. The ref orders HHH & Chyna to leave the ringside area. Michaels nails Austin with an axehandle from the apron to the floor. Austin chases HHH away from ringside, allowing Michaels to clothesline him from behind in the aisle. HBK uses the cymbals from the band to nail Austin. Austin fights back with rights. Austin whipped into the dumpster. Right hand to the nose by Michaels. Michaels to the top rope, but Austin catches him coming in with a right. Whip into the corner upside down by Austin. Inverted atomic drop by Austin for 2. Knuckle lock by Austin, and he goes to work on the left arm of Michaels. Stun Gun by Austin! 2-count only. Austin went for the Stone Cold Stunner, but HBK got away. Austin tosses Michaels to the floor where he hits face-first on the broadcast table. Apparently he knocked the monitors out of the desk. Elbow to the throat by Austin. Clothesline by Austin. Elbowdrop by Austin for 2. Again for 2. Side headlock now slapped on by Stone Cold. Jawbreaker by Michaels. HBK goes to post Austin, but Austin used his leg strength to pull HBK into it. Austin hits Michaels to the rail, and then pummels him. HBK backdrops Austin into the crowd. HBK hits Austin with the bell. Michaels throws Austin back in. Double axehandle floors Austin. Series of hard rights by Michaels. Michaels hits Austin to the turnbuckle. Snap mare by Michaels, and he quickly put his hand to his back. Kick to the midsection by Michaels, and he then flips off the crowd. Austin charges and takes down Michaels. Austin throws Michaels to the floor. Michaels pulls him to the canvas and then wraps his leg around the post. He does it again. Right to the jaw by HBK. Once more around the post. Michaels drives the knee down to the canvas. Michaels starts kicking away at Austin’s injured left knee. Single leg pickup by Shawn, who tries a figure-four, but Austin kicks him off and rolls him up for 2. Michaels floors Austin quickly and goes back to work on the leg. Michaels drops his weight down on the left knee. Austin rolls to the floor in front of Tyson. Baseball slide by Michaels who drives Austin onto the broadcast table. Tyson throws Austin back into the ring. Austin turns around to yell at Tyson, and Michaels clips his knee. Figure-four by Michaels. Michaels uses the ropes for leverage. 2-count. Austin reverses the hold and Michaels gets out of the hold. Austin fires at Michaels with rights. Slingshot into the turnbuckle and a 2-count. Sleeper by Michaels. Austin forces Shawn back into the corner and the ref went down. Michaels gets dropped onto the top buckle. Austin nails him with rights. Into another turnbuckle. Austin kicks away at Michaels. Backdrop by Austin. Forearm off the ropes by Michaels. Michaels pops up. He climbs to the top and delivers that beautiful flying elbowdrop. HBK readies for the Sweet Chin Music. He missed it and Austin went for the Stunner. Michaels escaped, went for the kick again but Austin hit the Stunner. Tyson ran into the ring and made the three-count and in 20:03 we have a NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION! **1/2 There wasn’t anything bad about this match, but there wasn’t anything good. Michaels only flew once, there was no technical wrestling and the ending was pretty boring. Austin presents Tyson with an Austin 3:16 t-shirt. Michaels gets up and stares at Tyson in disbelief, as he holds up the t-shirt. Michaels grabs the shirt and yells at Tyson. Tyson floors him with a hard right. Tyson buries Michaels under the Austin 3:16 shirt.